Soothing a crying baby, including colic

Regular fussy periods often fall between 6 p.m. and midnight, just when everyone is tired. Daily fussing usually builds in the early weeks, then eases by 3 to 4 months.

Crying, even long stretches of crying that nothing seems to fix, is normal baby behavior.

The AAP says you cannot spoil a young baby with attention. Responding promptly in the first few months can reduce crying overall.

Watch for early signs like lip-smacking or moving fists to the mouth. Feeding before your baby is very upset is often easier for both of you.

Dress your baby in about the same layers you’re wearing. For sleep, use a wearable blanket rather than loose blankets.

Check the diaper, and look for anything pinching or scratching, including a hair wrapped tightly around a finger or toe.

Burping can help. If your baby is fussy after feeds, spits up or vomits a lot, or isn’t gaining weight, contact the doctor. Reflux can be mistaken for colic.

An overstimulated baby needs calm: a quiet room and steady holding. A bored baby may settle with quiet singing or a walk.

If your baby is under 3 months and has a temperature of 100.4°F (38°C) or higher, call the doctor right away.

Wrapping your baby in a large, thin blanket can help them feel secure and warm. Ask a nurse or doctor to show you how.

Safety

• Always on their back for sleep
• Keep it loose at the hips
• Never use weighted swaddles
• Stop once your baby looks like they’re trying to roll, usually around 3 to 4 months, sometimes earlier

The AAP suggests holding your baby on their left side in your arms, or lying them tummy-down across your knees while you gently rub their back.

Calming sounds like white noise, a fan, a vacuum in another room or a recording of a heartbeat can help. Singing or talking softly works too.

Never place a baby on top of a washer or dryer.

Rock your baby gently, walk with them in a carrier, or go out with the stroller. In a RIKEN study, all crying babies calmed while carried by a walking parent for 5 minutes.

If your baby falls asleep in a swing, carrier or car seat, move them onto their back on a firm, flat surface as soon as you can.

Many babies are calmed by sucking. Offer a pacifier, or help them find their thumb or fingers. For breastfed babies, wait until feeding is going well first.

Holding your baby against your bare skin is one of the CDC’s calming ideas. A warm bath can also help some babies relax.

Babies with colic may

• Arch their back or pull their knees up
• Clench their fists
• Go red in the face
• Have a windy, rumbling tummy
• Scream and be very hard to comfort

Colic usually starts between the second and fourth weeks. It generally stops by 3 to 4 months, but can last until 6 months.

In the review of 28 studies, colic was much less common after 9 weeks.

There’s no definite known cause. Often, the baby is very sensitive to stimulation and has trouble calming their still-developing nervous system. Sometimes a food sensitivity plays a part, but this is not common.

Colic happens to babies in all kinds of families. It says nothing about your love or your skills as a parent or caregiver.

Note when your baby is awake, asleep, eating and crying, and share it with the doctor. It may also show you the crying is slowly easing.

The AAP suggests waiting at least 2 to 2½ hours from the start of one feed to the start of the next. Keep your baby upright during feeds and burp them afterwards.

Sometimes a food sensitivity plays a part. The AAP says to talk with your pediatrician before changing your diet or your baby’s formula, change one thing at a time, and give it time to see results. The NHS notes breastfeeding parents don’t usually need to change their diet.

Keep daytime naps to about 3 hours in total. At night, keep feeds and diaper changes calm and quiet, avoiding bright lights, noise and screens.

The NHS says remedies sold in shops for colic are not recommended and there’s no evidence they help. Spinal manipulation and cranial osteopathy have little evidence and may hurt your baby.

Always talk with your baby’s doctor before giving your baby anything by mouth other than breast milk or formula.

When you feel tense or anxious, the AAP suggests having another adult take over so you can leave the house for an hour or two.

Abusive head trauma, including shaken baby syndrome, is a brain injury caused by violent shaking or impact. It often happens when a caregiver becomes angry or frustrated by crying, and babies under 1 are most at risk.

It is a leading cause of child abuse deaths in children under 5 in the U.S.

Share your safe-break plan with anyone who cares for your baby. Make it clear they can always call you or hand the baby back, no questions asked.

The CDC advises never leaving a baby alone with someone who is easily irritated, has a temper, or has a history of violence.

The AAP says it’s OK to leave your baby crying safely in their crib for about 10 to 15 minutes while you calm down. Some babies even fall asleep faster when left to cry briefly.

Ideas

• A shower, a snack, or a few slow breaths
• A short walk outside while another adult holds the baby
• Stepping into another room for a few minutes while your baby is safe in their crib
• Texting a friend who gets it

Feelings of irritability and frustration are listed among the signs of perinatal depression. If anger is frequent or frightening, tell your own doctor.

Strong mood changes, or ones lasting more than 2 weeks after birth, may be perinatal depression. Most episodes begin within 4 to 8 weeks after birth, and it usually needs treatment to get better.

Postpartum Support International offers help for fathers and partners as well as mothers.

Try offering

• “I’ll walk the baby from 6 to 8 tonight so you can rest.”
• “Can I come Saturday morning and take her out in the stroller?”
• “Text me any time it gets too much. I’ll come over.”

Try saying

• “You’re doing a great job. This is just really hard.”
• “Colic ends. You won’t feel like this forever.”
• “Do you want me to hold her for a while?”

Try not to say

• “You’re spoiling him.”
• “My kids never cried like that.”
• “Have you tried just relaxing?”

Postpartum Support International offers free peer support, including online support groups led by trained facilitators.

Free, confidential support for pregnant and new parents and their loved ones, in English and Spanish, any time of day.

Leave a confidential message and a trained volunteer will call or text you back with support and local resources. Text in Spanish: 971-203-7773. It is not a crisis line.

Free, confidential support for anyone in emotional distress, including parents at the end of their rope. You can also chat at 988lifeline.org.

Find A Helpline (findahelpline.com) is a free directory of verified helplines in many countries, by phone, text or chat. In the UK, the NHS points parents of crying babies to their health visitor, a GP or NHS 111.