Sick or struggling when you’re raising kids alone

• “Who will get the kids to school?”
• “What if something happens and they’re home alone with me?”
• “I can’t afford to miss work.”
• “I’m scared to tell anyone I’m struggling.”

Each of these has practical answers in the sections below.

• Getting ready before you’re sick
• Teaching your child what to do in an emergency
• Getting through a sick day
• Low mental health days
• Talking with your child about your illness
• Hospital stays and longer illness

• Backup childcare and legal planning: Money, work & time as a single parent
• Building your village: Single parenting
• Long-term health conditions: Living with chronic illness
• Children who help care for a parent: Young carers

• Someone nearby for a quick school run
• Someone who could take your child overnight
• Someone who could bring food or supplies

Ask them now, on a good day: “If I’m ever really sick, could you be one of my backups?”

Keep a list of emergency phone numbers near the phone or on the fridge. Make sure your house number can be seen clearly from the street.

• Your full address (and apartment number and floor)
• Your helper list with phone numbers
• Your child’s school and doctor
• Your own health conditions and allergies

• Simple foods your child can make or grab (cereal, fruit, sandwiches)
• A few new or special quiet activities saved for sick days
• Paper plates and cups to skip dishes
• Chargers for devices

• School times and pickup details
• Your child’s routine, allergies and comfort items
• Who may and may not pick your child up

The Money, work & time as a single parent guide has a full “Backup childcare plan” worksheet.

Find out what sick leave your job offers. The U.S. Family and Medical Leave Act gives eligible workers up to 12 weeks of unpaid, job-protected leave a year for their own serious health condition.

To qualify you generally need to have worked for a covered employer for 12 months and at least 1,250 hours. Ask your HR team or check the Department of Labor website.

A 911 emergency is when someone needs help right away because of an injury or immediate danger. Kids should know that calling 911 as a joke is not okay.

Examples you might use

• “If I fall and can’t get up, or I won’t wake up”
• “If there’s a fire”
• “If someone is badly hurt”

The operator will ask what happened, where you are and who needs help. Encourage your child to answer as best they can and to make sure they are safe first.

A simple script to practice

• “My mom fell and won’t wake up.”
• “I live at 24 Oak Street, apartment 3B.”
• “I’m 7 and I’m home with her.”

• Talk about who emergency helpers are, like firefighters and paramedics
• Practice saying your address as a song or rhyme
• Show them how to unlock your phone’s emergency call

For young children, talking about the emergency workers in your community can help.

Ask calm practice questions, like “What would you do if we had a fire in our house?”

• Show them where the emergency list is
• Teach them to call a helper on your list for non-emergencies
• Pretend-practice a 911 call with the phone off

• Teach basic first aid when they’re old enough
• Share your health conditions and where your health information is kept
• Agree when they should call 911 versus a helper

Even capable teens shouldn’t carry the whole job. Make sure they have adults to call.

• Extra screen time is fine for a day or two
• Cereal or sandwiches for dinner count
• Skip baths, laundry and tidying
• Cancel what you can, without long explanations

For younger children, rest on the couch or a mattress in the living room with a safe play area nearby. You can doze while still being close.

• Gate off unsafe rooms for toddlers
• Put snacks, water and activities within reach
• Keep your phone charged and nearby

• Little ones: bring you a cup, choose a quiet game
• School-age: make their own simple snack, get ready for bed
• Teens: help with a meal, walk a younger sibling to school

Thank them. Helping can make kids feel proud, as long as it stays at their size.

Try saying

• “I’ve got a bad flu. Could you do school pickup today and tomorrow?”
• “Could you drop some soup and bread at the door?”
• “Could the kids come to you for a few hours so I can sleep?”

• Wash hands often, and teach kids to as well
• Use separate towels and cups
• Ask helpers to drop things at the door if you are contagious

• Kids fed, safe and to school (or one calm activity at home)
• One small thing for you: a shower, a short walk, a call
• Early bedtime for everyone

Breaking a big day into small pieces and tackling them one at a time can help.

Slow breathing, stretching, a few minutes outside or writing down your thoughts can calm your body. Taking a break from news and social media helps too.

What to say

• “I’m feeling tired and sad today. It’s not because of anything you did.”
• “Grown-ups have hard days too. I’m taking care of it.”
• “We’re having a cozy, quiet day.”

What not to say

• “You’re making this worse.”
• “I can’t do this anymore.”
• Adult details your child can’t do anything about

Let one trusted friend or relative know when you’re having a low patch. Staying connected with people you trust is one of the best ways to manage stress.

Explain the name of the illness, what part of the body it affects and how it is being treated. Ask what they’ve already heard or wondered.

Say clearly that nothing they did or thought made you sick. If the illness isn’t catching, tell them so they don’t worry about getting it.

Tell them what may change and who will step in, for example who will do school pickup. Name the trusted adults they can turn to.

What to say

• “If I need to rest, Uncle Dev will take you to school.”
• “You will always be looked after.”

• Younger children: short and simple, like “I’m sick and will be in the hospital for a few days”
• Older children: enough to understand, without worrying details
• Teens: often want more information; promise to keep them updated

Keeping to a routine, including school, homework and usual activities, helps children cope. Regular sleep, play and meals matter too.

• Small jobs that fit their age
• Time still left for school, play and friends
• An adult checking in on how they feel

• Worrying about you when they’re at school
• Skipping activities to stay home with you
• Hiding their own feelings to protect you
• Acting like a little adult, or seeming very tired

• Ask helpers to cover the bigger jobs
• Let the school counselor know what’s happening
• Make sure your child has another adult to talk to

• Confirm who will care for your child, and a backup
• Pack your child a bag with comfort items
• Tell the school and give them the helper’s contact
• Plan a phone or video call time each day if you can

• Tell staff right away that you’re a single parent and your child needs care
• Keep your helper list in your phone and wallet
• Ask for the hospital social worker

If you qualify, the Family and Medical Leave Act allows up to 12 workweeks of job-protected leave in a 12-month period for a serious health condition.

For help with bills or food while you recover, call 211.

Many states offer standby guardianship so a parent with a serious or disabling illness can arrange for a chosen person to step in under set conditions, while keeping much of their own authority.

Rules vary by state. A legal aid office or family lawyer can help. The Money, work & time as a single parent guide has more on planning ahead.

Pacing, flexible routines and a steady support team help. See the Living with chronic illness guide.

Ask friends and family for help with specific tasks, and use a shared calendar to schedule it.

• Meals on certain nights
• School runs on certain days
• A check-in call each evening

• “I’m having surgery on the 12th. Could you take Ava to school that week?”
• “You offered to help. Could you bring dinner on Tuesday?”
• “I’m having a rough week. Could you call me tonight?”

• Faith communities often organise meals and rides
• Your child’s school may have a family support worker
• 211 can connect you with local services

You can return the favor when you’re well. Being part of each other’s backup plan builds a stronger village for everyone.

Call 911 for a medical emergency, a fire or immediate danger.

Call or text 988, or chat at chat.988lifeline.org. Text and chat are also available in Spanish.

Text HOME to 741741 from anywhere in the U.S., any time.

Dial 2-1-1 or visit 211.org. It is free, confidential and open 24/7.

Find A Helpline lists free, confidential helplines in many countries. Use your local emergency number in an emergency.