Parents’ mental health
Parents are people too. Looking after your own mind is one of the kindest things you can do for your kids.
By the numbers
How common parent stress is, and why it matters for families.
Stress
Mental health
Parenting stress is real
Parenting is hard work. Stress is common, and asking for help is a strength.
Parenting is one of the most important jobs there is, and one of the hardest. Money worries, busy schedules, a child’s health, safety and screens can all pile up. Feeling stretched thin doesn’t mean you’re a bad parent. It means you’re carrying a lot.
Children notice how the grown-ups around them are doing. When you find healthy ways to handle stress, you also show your kids how to handle hard things. That helps them build their own resilience.
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Our stress system is built for real danger, like a tiger. But most parenting stress is a “paper tiger”: the messy house, the missed practice, the tantrum in the store. They feel urgent, yet they are not true emergencies.
Try it
- Name the stress: “The school called about homework again.”
- Ask: is this a real tiger (someone is in danger) or a paper tiger (it is hard, but not dangerous)?
- Ask: how will I feel about this in a week? A year?
- Break it into one small next step, and do just that.
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Pediatricians say there is no shame, failure or lack of love in needing time to yourself. A parent who has had a short rest is calmer and more patient.
Small breaks that count
- A 15-minute shower or a chapter of a book while kids are safe with another adult
- A walk around the block
- A phone call with a friend
- A few minutes of slow breathing
Keep it safe
- Never leave young children home alone, even asleep with a monitor
- Only leave kids with people you trust and who feel right to you
- Make a list of 1–3 people you can call when you need a hand
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Writing about your thoughts and feelings can help lower stress. You don’t need to write every day, and no one else ever has to read it. It is a safe place to let out frustration, fear or guilt without hurting anyone.
Prompts to try
- Today the hardest part was…
- Something I did well as a parent today…
- What I need more of this week…
- One thing I can let go of…
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If parenting feels like too much, it is okay to ask for help. Your child’s pediatrician can listen and connect you with local resources. A counselor, social worker, psychologist or a trusted faith leader can also help.
If you look for a therapist, check that they are licensed in your state.
What weighs on parents today
The pressures the U.S. Surgeon General named, and small ways to ease each one.
In 2024, the U.S. Surgeon General issued an advisory called “Parents Under Pressure.” It said the mental health of parents and caregivers is closely tied to the well-being of their children, and called for society to value and support parents much more.
The advisory named common sources of stress: money worries, time demands, children’s health and safety, parents feeling isolated and lonely, technology and social media, and worry about children’s futures. Most parents carry several at once.
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Money strain is one of the biggest pressures on parents. It can keep you awake at night and make every other problem feel heavier.
What can help
- Ask your child’s school, daycare or faith community what free help is available
- Break money worries into one small next step, like one phone call
- Trade childcare with another parent you trust
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Busy schedules leave little room for rest. Many parents feel they are always behind. That feeling is about the size of the load, not about how good a parent you are.
What can help
- Pick the one or two things that matter most today
- Let some things be “good enough”
- Share whole jobs with a partner or another adult, not just tasks
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Worrying about a child’s health, safety or mental health is part of loving them. When that worry is constant, it wears you down.
What can help
- Ask: is this a real tiger or a paper tiger?
- Talk with your child’s pediatrician about worries, big or small
- Share the worry with another adult instead of holding it alone
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Many parents feel isolated, especially with young children, after a move, or when parenting alone. Having someone to rely on for support is linked to better mental health in parents.
What can help
- A regular call or walk with one friend
- A parent group at a library, school, clinic or faith community
- Saying yes when someone offers to help
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Parents worry about their kids’ screen time and online safety. Scrolling through other families’ “perfect” moments can also leave parents feeling they are falling short.
When a parent is struggling too
Parents have mental health too. Struggling doesn’t make you a bad parent.
Parents are people. Many parents live with depression, anxiety or another mental health challenge at some point. Most of these struggles are mild or short-lived. Having them does not make you a bad parent.
Mental illness is common among parents. The U.K.’s Royal College of Psychiatrists estimates that 68% of women and 57% of men with a mental illness are parents. So if this is you, you are far from alone.
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Everyday stress comes and goes. Burnout is a deep tiredness that builds over time. Low mood or worry that lasts two weeks or more, or gets in the way of daily life, is a good reason to talk to a professional.
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Pregnancy and the months after birth can bring big changes in mood. The National Maternal Mental Health Hotline offers free, confidential support by call or text, 24/7, in English and Spanish, for pregnant and new parents and their families.
The Pregnancy & after birth guide goes deeper.
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Many parents try to protect their children by keeping it a secret. That comes from love. But experts say secrecy can make it harder for children to cope, because they still notice something is wrong and fill in the gaps on their own.
What children often worry about
- “Is it my fault?” Many children secretly believe they caused it.
- “Will I get it too?” Some worry they will “catch” it.
- “Is my parent going to be okay?”
- “Am I allowed to talk about this?”
Talking with your kids about it
Simple, honest words help children feel safe.
Children cope better when they understand what is happening and, as much as possible, why. When a child understands that they are not part of the illness, and they have caring adults around them, it protects them.
A simple way to start
- Pick a calm moment, not right after a hard episode.
- Use plain words: “Sometimes my brain gets sick, like a body can get sick. It makes me feel very tired and sad.”
- Say clearly: “It is not your fault. Nothing you did caused this.”
- Tell them who is helping: “I’m seeing a doctor and a counselor.”
- Invite questions, and it’s okay to say “I don’t know, but I’ll find out.”
- Check in again later. One talk is a start, not the end.
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Younger kids need short, simple answers. Many quietly believe they caused a parent’s illness, so say clearly and often that it is not their fault.
Words to try
- “Mommy’s feelings are sick right now, and a doctor is helping.”
- “Nothing you did made this happen.”
- “You can always ask me questions.”
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Teens may have picked up wrong ideas from friends or the internet, so gently correct those. Some worry about becoming ill themselves. Honest, age-right information helps.
Tips
- Ask what they already know or have heard
- Let them choose when and where to talk, like in the car
- Tell them who else they can talk to
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Your child’s doctor, school counselor or your own therapist can help you plan what to say. Family therapy can give everyone a safe place to talk together.
What helps children cope
Steady routines and trusted adults make a big difference.
Things that help children cope
- A reliable, caring adult they can talk to
- Being protected from teasing or unkind talk about their parent
- Honest, age-right information about the illness
- Keeping up normal routines: school, play, friends
- Not being asked to take on adult jobs at home
Even with good support, children may still feel upset, scared or embarrassed at times. That’s normal. What matters is that they know they can talk about it.
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Some children may
- Act out, or take on a “bossy” parent role at home
- Feel ashamed or worried about becoming ill themselves
- Find it very hard to talk about their parent’s illness
- Pull back, seem anxious, or find it hard to focus at school
A child’s difficult behavior can be a cry for help. Their doctor, school counselor or a young carers group can help.
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Some children help care for a parent who is unwell. Some don’t like the idea of therapy because they think it means they’re “the problem”. Young carer groups can feel easier because the child is respected as a helper.
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You can talk to your clinical provider or therapist about what your children need, especially at times when you are unwell. A simple plan for who helps with the kids on hard days keeps routines steady.
What to include
- Who can do school runs and meals
- Who your child can call or visit
- What your child already knows, so helpers say the same thing
- Their routines, likes and comfort items
Getting support for yourself
Getting help is one of the best things you can do for your kids.
If you are a parent with a mental health challenge, getting the right help matters for you and your family. Your primary care provider or your child’s pediatrician can be a good first step. They can listen and connect you with local resources.
Supports to ask about
- Family therapy, so everyone can talk together safely
- Parent support groups
- A plan for who will help with the kids on hard days
- Talk therapy (one-on-one counseling)
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A counselor, social worker, psychologist or a trusted faith leader can help. If you look for a therapist, check that they are licensed in your state.
Ask about
- Evening or online sessions that fit around childcare
- Experience working with parents
- Fees, insurance or sliding-scale costs
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Many workplaces have a free, confidential Employee Assistance Program (EAP). Talking with your employer about flexible hours can also ease the load.
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Regular sleep, meals, some movement and time with people you trust all help. Even a few minutes of slow breathing can calm your body.
How community helps parents
No parent is meant to do it alone. Here is how others can help.
Having someone to rely on was linked to lower odds of mental health struggles in parents and caregivers. The Surgeon General’s advisory called on communities, schools and workplaces, not just parents, to help ease the pressure.
Places to find your people
- Faith communities and community centers
- Libraries, schools and daycares with parent groups
- Online parent groups and forums
- Parent support groups through clinics or hospitals
- Trading childcare with another parent you trust
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Ways to help
- Bring a meal or offer to do a school pickup
- Check in regularly, even with a short text
- Listen without judging or giving advice
- Offer an hour of childcare so they can rest
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Teachers and coaches can notice when a child is tired, missing school or struggling to focus. Gentle questions, a safe adult to talk to, and help catching up with schoolwork can make a big difference.
When and where to get help
Signs it’s time to reach out, and where to turn right now.
It’s a good idea to talk to a professional if hard feelings or stress last two weeks or more, or get in the way of daily life. You don’t have to wait until you’re at breaking point.
Reach out if you notice
- Big changes in appetite or weight
- Fear that you might lose control or hurt yourself or your child
- Feeling irritable, frustrated or restless most of the time
- Losing interest in things you used to enjoy
- Struggling to get out of bed because of low mood
- Trouble sleeping or concentrating that won’t go away
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Call or text 988 to reach the 988 Suicide & Crisis Lifeline, or chat at 988lifeline.org. You can also text HOME to 741741 to reach the Crisis Text Line.
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The National Maternal Mental Health Hotline is free, confidential and open 24/7 by call or text at 1-833-852-6262 (1-833-TLC-MAMA). Partners and family can contact it too.
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Find A Helpline (findahelpline.com) lists free, confidential helplines by country and topic. The International Association for Suicide Prevention points people to it as well. In an emergency, call your local emergency number.
📝 Worksheets for this guide
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Sources
- American Academy of Pediatrics (HealthyChildren.org) (2022). Feeling Overwhelmed with Parenting Demands?
- American Academy of Pediatrics (HealthyChildren.org) (2024). Is it OK to need a break from my kids?
- Royal College of Psychiatrists (U.K.) (2017). Parental mental illness: the impact on children and adolescents
- American Psychological Association (APA) (2023). Stress in America 2023: A nation recovering from collective trauma (press release)
- U.S. Surgeon General, U.S. Department of Health and Human Services (2024). Parental Mental Health & Well-Being (Parents Under Pressure advisory)
- U.S. Department of Health and Human Services (2024). U.S. Surgeon General Issues Advisory on the Mental Health and Well-Being of Parents
- Centers for Disease Control and Prevention (CDC), MMWR (2021). Mental Health Among Parents of Children Aged <18 Years and Unpaid Caregivers of Adults During the COVID-19 Pandemic — United States, December 2020 and February–March 2021
- Cleveland Clinic (2023). Caregiver Burnout: What It Is, Symptoms & Prevention
- Centers for Disease Control and Prevention (CDC) (2025). Disability and Health Information for Family Caregivers
- Centers for Disease Control and Prevention (CDC) (2024). Healthy Habits: Caring for Yourself When Caring for Another
- National Institute of Mental Health (NIMH) (2026). Caring for Your Mental Health
- Health Resources and Services Administration (HRSA), Maternal and Child Health Bureau. National Maternal Mental Health Hotline
- U.S. Department of Health and Human Services (2023). HHS Celebrates National Maternal Mental Health Hotline’s First Anniversary; Introduces Updated Number: 1-833-TLC-MAMA
- 988 Suicide & Crisis Lifeline. 988 Suicide & Crisis Lifeline
- Substance Abuse and Mental Health Services Administration (SAMHSA). 988 Suicide & Crisis Lifeline
- Crisis Text Line. Crisis Text Line
- Substance Abuse and Mental Health Services Administration (SAMHSA). Crisis Text Line
- ThroughLine. Find A Helpline
- International Association for Suicide Prevention (IASP). If you’re in crisis, help is available right now (crisis centres)
This guide is for education and self-care. It is not a diagnosis or a substitute for professional care. Please talk to a counselor or clinical provider about your health. Reviewed October 2026.
