Sikh holy days & wellbeing: Vaisakhi, Gurpurabs & more

On Vaisakhi in 1699, Guru Gobind Singh Ji started the Khalsa Panth and gave Sikhs their unique identity. It is also a harvest festival across Punjab, now usually on 13 April and sometimes 14 April.

Many Gurdwaras hold Akhand Paath, kirtan, Ardas and langar, and larger centers hold Amrit ceremonies and fairs.

Hola Mohalla began under Guru Gobind Singh Ji, with the first march at Anandpur in 1701. Today large crowds gather at Anandpur Sahib, where Nihangs lead a procession with displays of horsemanship and martial skill.

Big crowds can be thrilling, and they can also feel overwhelming. It is fine to step to a quieter spot, stay with your group and take breaks.

Bandi Chhor Divas remembers Guru Hargobind Sahib Ji’s release from wrongful imprisonment in 1619. He insisted that 52 princes held with him be freed too, and had a robe made with 52 tassels so all could hold on and go free.

Gurdwaras and homes are lit, and the largest display is at Darbar Sahib in Amritsar.

Many communities celebrate in November, and some in April. Sikhs remember Guru Nanak Dev Ji’s teachings that all humanity is one and everyone is equal, and that we should share and live honestly.

On birth anniversaries of the Gurus, Gurdwaras and homes may be lit, and processions and Akhand Paaths are common.

Guru Gobind Singh Ji formalized the Sikh identity. On his Gurpurab, Sikhs remember his teaching that all humanity is equal and that we should stand up for equality however we can.

Gurpurabs are often marked with special gatherings, talks on the Gurus’ lives and Amrit ceremonies, as well as kirtan and langar.

Among the most widely kept days are the martyrdom days of Guru Arjan Dev Ji and Guru Tegh Bahadur Ji, and of Guru Gobind Singh Ji’s young sons.

Readers and sevadars may stay up through the night. Too little sleep can leave anyone irritable, low or foggy, and the CDC recommends 7 or more hours a night for adults ages 18 to 60.

Ideas

• Share shifts so no one does two nights in a row
• Plan a nap before and after a night shift
• Drive home only if you feel alert, or ask for a ride
• Keep the next day light if you can

Simple care

• Wear comfortable shoes
• Find shade and take breaks
• Keep water with you, and accept chhabeel (sweet drinks served to the sangat) or water when offered
• Look out for elders, children and anyone who seems unwell

Sitting in a chair, listening to a livestream, or joining for one hour instead of the whole day are all real ways to take part. Waheguru sees the heart, not the hours.

Guru Nanak Dev Ji writes: “Those who have truth as their fast, contentment as their sacred shrine of pilgrimage, spiritual wisdom and meditation as their cleansing bath, kindness as their deity, and forgiveness as their chanting beads - they are the most excellent people” (Ang 1245).

Some families, especially mixed-faith or Punjabi families with many traditions, keep fasts as a cultural or family custom. You may feel pulled between family expectations and your own beliefs or health.

It is okay to talk about this openly and kindly. You can honor the love behind a custom while choosing what is right for you.

If you choose to fast, talk with your clinical provider first, especially if you are pregnant, have a long-term health condition, or are an older adult or a teen.

Watch for

• Feeling resentful or snapping at family
• Not sleeping or eating properly for days
• Feeling guilty whenever you say no
• Dreading the next Gurpurab instead of looking forward to it

Ideas for committees and families

• Make a rota so the same people are not always in the kitchen
• Invite young people and men into cooking and cleaning seva
• Set shift lengths and real breaks
• Thank sevadars by name

Hosting a Paath or Gurpurab gathering at home can be beautiful and tiring. It is okay to keep the menu simple, ask relatives to bring dishes, and rest the next day.

Hearing about Vaisakhi or Bandi Chhor Divas back home, while you are in class or at work, can bring a deep ache.

Ideas

• Video call family during Ardas or kirtan
• Find the nearest Gurdwara and go for langar
• Join a Sikh student association or community group
• Cook a family dish and share it with friends

If you are single, divorced, widowed or not in touch with family, celebrations full of couples and big families can feel painful. Your place in the sangat is just as real.

Langar is served to everyone, whatever their caste, creed, religion, race or sex. Sitting in pangat (in rows on the floor) with strangers is one of the oldest ways Sikhi answers loneliness.

Doing a little seva, like serving water or washing dishes, can help you feel part of things quickly.

Gurbani says of the Divine Light in everyone: “Amongst all is the Light-You are that Light” (Ang 13). Some families light a diva for a loved one, or do Ardas in their memory on a Gurpurab.

Ways to remember

• Sponsor or help with langar in their name
• Play the shabad they loved
• Share a story about them at the family meal
• Do a seva they used to do

You might go to the Gurdwara for a short time, sit in the back, or stay home and listen to kirtan. Grief does not follow the calendar.

For families who lived through violence or lost loved ones, community remembrance days can bring back fear, grief or anger. These are understandable reactions, not weakness.

What can help

• Plan the day ahead: where you will be and with whom
• Limit graphic images and videos online
• Balance remembrance with rest and something comforting
• Talk with a counselor if the feelings stay strong

Stories of the Sahibzade and of Guru Tegh Bahadur Ji teach courage and standing up for others. For young children, focus on bravery, kindness and faith, and leave out graphic detail.

Questions to ask after a story

• “How do you think they found their courage?”
• “How can we stand up for someone this week?”
• “How did the story make you feel?”

Ideas

• Set a family budget before the day
• Swap big gifts for a family seva outing
• Wear what you have, with a new chunni or dastaar color for fun
• Give dasvandh in a way that fits your means

Ways to protect your peace

• Decide ahead how long you will stay
• Have a calm phrase ready for nosy questions
• Step outside or into the darbar hall for a few quiet minutes
• Leave early if things turn unkind