Buddhist holy days, retreats & your wellbeing

Magha Puja commemorates an assembly of 1,250 arahants, fully awakened disciples of the Buddha. It is observed by Theravada Buddhists in countries such as Cambodia, Laos, Myanmar, Sri Lanka and Thailand, with alms-giving and teachings at the temple.

Vesak, also called Visakha Puja, marks the Buddha’s birth, awakening and passing. Chinese communities often follow the lunar calendar instead. See the Vesak section below.

Asalha Puja commemorates the Buddha’s first teaching, on the Four Noble Truths. In Theravada communities, the annual rains retreat (Vassa) begins the day after.

Obon is a three-day observance in Japan and East Asia that honors ancestors, with Buddhist and Shinto elements. Dates vary by region, from July to August. See “Remembering loved ones” below.

Pavarana Day marks the end of the rains retreat. It is followed by the kathina ceremony, when lay people offer robes to the monastic community.

Bodhi Day commemorates the Buddha’s awakening under the Bodhi tree, and is widely observed by Mahayana Buddhists, including Zen and Pure Land. In Japanese Zen, Rohatsu is often marked with a week-long retreat.

Losar is the Tibetan Buddhist New Year, with cleaning, offerings and community practice. Nirvana Day, around February 15, marks the Buddha’s passing into parinirvana and is observed mainly by Mahayana Buddhists.

Customs vary widely. Many people visit the temple, take precepts, listen to teachings, meditate, make offerings and practice generosity. Vesak began in South and Southeast Asia and is mainly Theravada, though other traditions also observe it.

Simple ideas at home

• Clean and decorate your home shrine
• Do an act of generosity in the Buddha’s honor
• Read a few verses of the Dhammapada
• Spend a few minutes in metta for all beings

Many Vesak traditions include giving food, helping at the temple or supporting people in need. Helping others can bring a sense of connection and meaning on a day that might otherwise feel lonely.

If you are grieving, unwell or low, a festival can feel like too much. You can mark Vesak with one quiet act, like lighting a candle or reading one verse, and rest the remainder of the day.

On uposatha days and during intensive retreats, many lay people take eight precepts. Beyond the usual five, they include refraining from eating after noon, from entertainment and adornment, and from luxurious beds. The third precept also widens to refraining from all sexual activity.

The aim is to simplify life for a day, so there is more room for calm, reflection and meditation.

People without a nearby monastery can increase their own meditation on uposatha days.

A gentle home uposatha

1. Choose a few precepts that feel right for you this time.
2. Put your phone away for a set part of the day.
3. Sit for a short meditation morning and evening.
4. Read a short teaching or a few verses.
5. End by dedicating the good of the day: “May all beings be well.”

The Buddha set aside harsh self-punishment as one of two extremes, and taught the middle way between them (Samyutta Nikaya 56.11). Practice days are meant to refresh you, not wear you out.

If you have a health condition, are pregnant or breastfeeding, are an older adult, or have ever struggled with eating, talk with your clinical provider before skipping evening meals. They can help you plan what is safe for you.

• Drink water through the day
• Eat a balanced meal before noon
• Notice signs like dizziness or shakiness, and eat if you need to
• Rest more and plan fewer demanding tasks

For someone with a history of an eating disorder, fasting rules can feed harmful thoughts about food, control or guilt. Choosing not to fast, or observing the day in another way, is a wise and compassionate choice.

• Ask whether the retreat screens participants and has support if someone struggles
• Ask whether you can talk with a teacher privately during the retreat
• If you are new, start with a day or weekend retreat
• Tell the organizers about your health, including mental health, in confidence
• If you see a therapist, tell them you plan to go

Sleep loss and fasting were among the risk factors named in the case report above. Eat the meals offered, sleep the hours you are given, and tell a teacher if you are not sleeping.

If you feel panic that will not settle, feel unreal or detached, cannot sleep for several nights, or see or hear things others do not, tell a teacher straight away. It is okay to stop, rest, or go home.

• Ask your temple about memorial chanting
• Cook a dish your loved one enjoyed and share it
• Light a candle or incense at your home shrine
• Offer an act of generosity in their name

For memorial practice and dedicating merit, see the Buddhist practices for hard times guide.

It is common to feel sad on days that others celebrate, especially in the first years after a loss. You do not have to pretend. Let people know if you need company or quiet.

Cleaning before a new year is a custom in many cultures. Choose one small space, like your shrine, desk or bedside table, and clear it mindfully, one item at a time.

Instead of strict resolutions, try a wholesome intention such as “May I be patient with my family this year,” and one small action toward it. For more, see “Intentions and hopes for the future” in the Buddhist teachings & mental health guide.

Among Asian American Buddhists, 63% use an altar, shrine or religious symbol at home, while 17% attend services at least monthly (Pew, 2023). Marking a holy day at home is a full part of Buddhist life.

Many temples and centers stream holy day chanting and talks. You could also call a relative or sangha friend and practice together for a few minutes.

If your family includes people of different faiths, or none, talk ahead of time about which days matter most to each person. Sharing a meal or explaining one custom can build understanding.

If you are in a mixed-faith relationship, see the Interfaith couples: love across religions guide.

Cooking, hosting, travel and family expectations can make holy days tiring. It is okay to do less, share tasks, and protect some quiet time for practice and rest.