Doubt, struggle & feeling far from God: a Jewish view

When God revealed the plan to destroy Sodom, Abraham pushed back: “…that be far from Thee; shall not the judge of all the earth do justly?” (Genesis 18:25, JPS 1917)

A midrash treats Abraham’s argument as prayer, and says no one had kavanah (heartfelt intention) in prayer like Abraham. His challenge was a form of closeness, not a break.

When things got worse for the Israelites in Egypt, Moses said: “Lord, wherefore hast Thou dealt ill with this people? why is it that Thou hast sent me?” (Exodus 5:22, JPS 1917)

Later, worn out by leadership, he told God: “I am not able to bear all this people myself alone, because it is too heavy for me.” (Numbers 11:14, JPS 1917) Moses’ honesty did not end his relationship with God. God answered by sharing the load with 70 elders.

“Right wouldest Thou be, O LORD, were I to contend with Thee, yet will I reason with Thee: Wherefore doth the way of the wicked prosper?” (Jeremiah 12:1, JPS 1917)

“How long, O LORD, shall I cry, And Thou wilt not hear?” (Habakkuk 1:2, JPS 1917)

Why do good people suffer? Why is there injustice? These are not new or forbidden questions. They are in the Bible itself.

Job lost almost everything and protested bitterly. He said: “Though He slay me, yet will I trust in Him; But I will argue my ways before Him.” (Job 13:15, JPS 1917)

His friends insisted he must have deserved his suffering. At the end, God tells one of them: “My wrath is kindled against thee, and against thy two friends; for ye have not spoken of Me the thing that is right, as My servant Job hath.” (Job 42:7, JPS 1917)

“Verily Thou art a God that hidest Thyself, O God of Israel, the Saviour.” (Isaiah 45:15, JPS 1917)

Notice that Isaiah speaks of hiddenness and salvation in the same breath. Feeling that God is hidden is not the same as God being gone. Many people of deep faith have lived through long seasons like this.

“Awake, why sleepest Thou, O Lord? Arouse Thyself, cast not off for ever.” (Psalm 44:24, JPS 1917)

“LORD, why castest Thou off my soul? Why hidest Thou Thy face from me?” (Psalm 88:15, JPS 1917) Psalm 88 is one of the few psalms that ends without a turn to comfort. It shows that even an unresolved cry belongs in prayer.

Hester panim is often connected with the Book of Esther, where God’s presence is hard to see.

In Esther, rescue comes through people who show courage and loyalty to one another. When God feels far away, many Jews find that God’s care reaches them through friends, family, community and helpers.

“And my soul is removed far off from peace, I forgot prosperity. And I said: ‘My strength is perished, And mine expectation from the LORD.’” (Lamentations 3:17–18, JPS 1917)

Then, a few verses later: “This I recall to my mind, Therefore have I hope.” (Lamentations 3:21, JPS 1917) Hope here is not a feeling that arrives on its own. It is something the writer chooses to recall, even while hurting.

After years of debate between the schools of Hillel and Shammai, the Talmud says a Divine Voice declared: “Both these and those are the words of the living God.” (Eruvin 13b)

Holding more than one view, and living with questions that are not fully settled, is part of the tradition, not a betrayal of it.

The Talmud tells a story in which Moses is brought to sit in Rabbi Akiva’s study hall centuries later. He “did not understand what they were saying,” and his strength waned, until he heard that the teaching came from him. (Menachot 29b)

If even Moses could feel confused and out of place in a room full of Torah, you can too. Not understanding is part of the journey.

In chavruta learning, two people study a text together, asking questions and pushing back on each other’s ideas. Many people find it easier to explore hard questions with a partner than alone.

Questions you might bring

• “Why do good people suffer?”
• “What do I actually believe about God?”
• “Can I practise without being sure?”
• “How do other Jews think about this?”

At Sinai, the people answered: “All that the LORD hath spoken will we do, and obey.” (Exodus 24:7, JPS 1917) In Hebrew, “na’aseh v’nishma”: doing comes first in the sentence.

Many Jews keep lighting Shabbat candles, saying Kaddish or coming to a seder while their beliefs are unsettled. Practice can be a way of staying connected while you wrestle.

In 2020, 72% of U.S. Jews said leading an ethical and moral life is essential to being Jewish, and 76% said the same about remembering the Holocaust.

When beliefs about God feel shaky, many people find that their values, memories and relationships remain a solid place to stand.

Many people move through seasons: certainty, questioning, distance, return. A season of doubt does not decide your whole future.

After a time of great danger, the prophet Elijah fled into the wilderness, sat under a tree and felt he could not go on. He fell asleep, “and, behold, an angel touched him, and said unto him: ‘Arise and eat.’” (1 Kings 19:5, JPS 1917)

The angel came again: “Arise and eat; because the journey is too great for thee.” (1 Kings 19:7, JPS 1917) God’s first answer to Elijah’s despair was not a lecture. It was food, rest and gentle care.

After the Holocaust, Jewish thinkers responded in many ways. Some, like Eliezer Berkovits, spoke of God’s face being hidden and called for renewed faith. Others, like Irving Greenberg, said the covenant was not broken, even without full answers. Some felt God could not be spoken of in the old ways, and Abraham Joshua Heschel asked not only “where was God?” but “where was man?”

There is no single “correct” Jewish answer to suffering. You are allowed to hold the question open.

Anger at God is a common part of grief and trauma. Like Job, you can bring that anger into prayer, into a conversation with a rabbi, or onto a page.

Sometimes doubt grows because people in a religious setting caused harm, through abuse, control or shaming. That is not your fault, and it is not the same as God rejecting you.

A Jewish religious coping scale developed by researchers found that the way Jews use their faith to cope predicts psychological distress, both helpfully and unhelpfully.

This does not mean doubt causes illness. It means that if you are struggling spiritually, it is worth talking about, not hiding.

Scrupulosity is a type of OCD with religious or moral fears. People may be flooded with doubts about sin or faith, and feel driven to check, confess or repeat prayers to feel sure. It often brings fear rather than closeness to God.

Some differences

• Honest questioning is usually curious. OCD doubt feels like an emergency.
• Honest questions can wait. OCD doubts demand an answer right now.
• Reassurance helps honest questions. With OCD, relief fades fast and the doubt returns.

Depression can drain feeling from everything, including prayer and Torah. Sometimes what feels like losing faith is partly how depression feels from the inside.

If you have felt low, empty or hopeless most days for two weeks or more, please talk with a doctor, counselor or your clinical provider.

Many rabbis have wrestled with the same questions. You can ask for a private conversation and say plainly: “I’m struggling with my faith and I want to talk about it.”

Signs of a safe person to talk to

• They listen more than they lecture.
• They respect your pace.
• They do not shame or threaten you.
• They are open to you also seeing a counselor.

A lament in four parts

1. Address God, however you understand God.
2. Say honestly what hurts or what you doubt.
3. Ask for what you need.
4. Write one thing you still hold onto, even if it is small.

Some people find comfort in keeping one small ritual, like Shabbat candles or a blessing before eating. Others need a pause from practices that feel painful. Either can be okay. If you are unsure, talk it through with a rabbi you trust.

In a trial with religious Jews, a program that brought spiritual content into stress care eased worry and stress, and also reduced mistrust in God.

A good therapist will not tell you what to believe. They will help you sort out what is anxiety, what is grief and what is honest questioning.

Try saying

• “That sounds really hard. Tell me more.”
• “I’m glad you told me.”
• “You’re still family to me, whatever you believe.”
• “Do you want my thoughts, or just someone to listen?”

Try to avoid

• Quick answers or proof texts.
• Warnings or threats.
• Telling them their doubt is a sin or a phase.
• Sharing their struggle with others without permission.

People who feel loved and accepted are more able to explore their questions safely. Keep inviting them to meals, holidays and family time, without pressure.

If your loved one seems hopeless, withdrawn, talks about being a burden or about not wanting to live, ask them directly and help them reach out for care.