Raising third culture kids: for parents and caregivers

Little ones may not understand the move, but they notice changes in routine and in your stress. Keep naps, meals and bedtime rituals as steady as you can.

Helps

• Familiar blanket, toys and bedding in your hand luggage
• The same bedtime songs and stories
• Extra cuddles and patience with clinginess

They may worry about who they will sit with and whether they will fit in. Showing them real pictures and videos of the new place helps them know what to expect.

Helps

• Look at maps and photos together
• Let them choose something for their new room
• Find a club or sport they can join right away

Adolescence is a sensitive time to move, because teens are working out who they are. Tweens may say a move “doesn’t matter” when they are actually hurting.

Helps

• Include them in decisions where you can
• Protect time for goodbyes with friends
• Agree on ways to stay in touch online
• Plan around big milestones like exams and graduation

Notify the new school and health providers at least 30 days before a move, and carry full educational and medical records.

• Visit favourite places one last time
• Make a small photo book of friends and places
• Have friends sign a T-shirt or notebook
• Take photos of your home, street and school

A small farewell gift lets friends keep a memento. Children can write notes or draw pictures for people they will miss.

Moving can tempt kids (and adults) to leave conflicts unresolved. Encourage a kind word or apology where it fits, so they leave with fewer loose ends.

Video calls, emails, letters and texts keep connections alive. Online contact with peers who share a similar background was linked to better adjustment.

Bring copies of unofficial school records, so the new school can place your child while official records are sent. This matters most for students with support plans.

The Interstate Compact helps military kids with placement, activities and graduating on time. School liaisons at every installation help with transitions, including moves between overseas and U.S. schools.

Programs like Student 2 Student pair new students with trained peers for tours and lunch. The Military Child Education Coalition offers back-to-school toolkits and parent webinars.

More time at an international school was linked to more openness toward other cultures. Some families choose local schools for language and community. There is no single right choice.

Think about

• Language of teaching
• How often classmates move
• Support for kids with extra needs
• Fit with the next likely move

• A special breakfast on the first morning in a new place
• Holiday traditions kept wherever you are
• A weekly family games or movie night
• A goodbye walk before every move

Regular contact with relatives gives kids a sense of where they come from. Video calls, shared photo albums and visits all count.

Children who were motivated to keep their home language experienced less culture shock.

The guide “Raising children in two cultures (or faiths)” has more ideas for passing on language and heritage.

In adults who grew up abroad, having siblings was linked to more resilience and less worry in relationships. Nurture sibling bonds: they share a history no one else does.

• “It’s okay to be sad and excited at the same time.”
• “What will you miss most? What are you curious about?”
• “I’m going to miss things too.”
• “You can always talk to me about the old place.”

• “You’re so lucky, other kids would love this.”
• “Don’t cry, you’ll make new friends.”
• “This is our job, there’s no point complaining.”
• “It’s just a house.”

• Talk side by side: in the car or on a walk
• Draw or write about the move
• Make a “then and now” photo collage
• Use a feelings chart or emoji scale

Short-term, confidential counseling for service members and their families. From overseas, use the international calling options on the Military OneSource site.

Supports young people from U.S. families serving abroad under Chief of Mission authority, with webinars on third culture kid issues, re-entry seminars and a resource library.

Offers back-to-school toolkits, parent webinars and Military Student Consultants who support families through school changes.

A community of globally mobile people and those who support them, with virtual parenting groups, events and affiliate groups.

In the U.S., call or text 988, or chat at 988lifeline.org, any time. Or text HOME to 741741 for Crisis Text Line.

Outside the U.S., findahelpline.com lists free, confidential helplines in 175+ countries.

U.S. citizens abroad in an emergency can contact the nearest U.S. embassy or consulate, or call 1-888-407-4747 from the U.S. or Canada, or +1-202-501-4444 from elsewhere.