Immigrant families

• Get curious about who your child is becoming
• Let them ask questions about home, even hard ones
• Say sorry when you get it wrong. It teaches them how.
• Share your story, without making them carry it

Research on Asian and Latino American families found that bigger gaps in how parents and children adapt are linked with more family clashes, which can affect children’s mental health.

Ways to stay close

• Ask your child to teach you something about their world
• Keep one shared family ritual each week
• Listen first before deciding on a rule
• Explain the “why” behind your values

Under U.S. rules, health programs that get federal money from the U.S. Department of Health and Human Services must offer a qualified interpreter, and should not rely on a child to interpret except briefly in an emergency.

A review of 65 studies found that how children felt about translating mattered more than how often they did it.

The APA notes that a 1982 U.S. Supreme Court decision, Plyler v. Doe, says public schools from kindergarten to grade 12 must give all children access to education, including children without legal status. Feeling connected to school is linked with fewer mental health problems in immigrant youth.

• Ask for an interpreter at parent-teacher meetings
• Ask how the school supports new students and families
• Get to know one teacher or counselor you trust

Children often pick up on adults’ worries about money or papers, even when adults try to hide them.

Signs a child may be worried

• Clinging to a parent, or not wanting to go to school
• Headaches or stomach aches
• Sleep problems or bad dreams
• Asking a lot of questions about safety

• Choose a trusted adult who could care for your children if needed, and talk with them
• Keep important papers and copies in one safe place
• Make sure children know who to call and that they will be looked after
• Talk with a qualified legal helper about formal ways to name a caregiver

U.S. Citizenship and Immigration Services (USCIS) says only licensed attorneys and accredited representatives can give immigration legal advice, and warns that “notarios” are not attorneys in the U.S. The U.S. Department of Justice lists free legal service providers for immigration court.

The APA describes how these care arrangements can break down because of more migration, a caregiver’s death or conflict. Some children then travel to join their parents, sometimes alone.

The APA notes that young people who migrate alone often face trauma and must cope with a new country while apart from family and friends. They also face the challenge of reuniting with parents they may barely know, and new siblings.

The APA notes that parents often feel guilt about leaving and about the time apart.

• Keep a regular call time your child can count on
• Read a bedtime story over video
• Send voice notes, drawings and photos back and forth
• Thank the caregiver, and keep them in the loop

• A child may feel loyal to the relative who raised them
• A child may be angry about being left, even if they understand why
• A parent may feel hurt if a child seems distant
• Siblings born in the new country may feel like strangers at first

• Ask about their life while you were apart, and listen
• Keep contact with the relatives who raised them
• Let the child warm up at their own pace
• Spend short, regular one-on-one time together

The APA notes that secure bonds with parents and feeling connected to school help immigrant children adjust.

• Keep a few familiar foods, music or objects from their old home
• Keep routines simple and predictable
• Talk with the school counselor early
• Watch for signs of stress, like sleep problems or withdrawal

• Acting younger than their age, like bedwetting or clinginess
• Anger, tantrums or trouble at school
• Being very quiet or withdrawn
• Bad dreams or trouble sleeping
• Headaches or stomach aches

The APA notes that with emotional support and caring relationships, immigrant children can build new secure bonds.

• Keep daily routines steady
• Let them talk or draw about what happened, without pushing
• Look after your own stress too, because children feel it
• Tell them often that they are safe and loved

If signs last for weeks or get in the way of school, sleep or play, talk to your child’s doctor or school counselor. Ask for a professional interpreter so you can explain things fully.

• Young children: where you come from, what you loved there, who is family
• Older children: why you moved and what was hard, in simple words
• Teens: more of the full story, if they want it and you are ready

• Family members they can look up to
• Funny or happy memories from home
• Skills and values your family brought with them
• The courage it took to start again

Your child may feel “too foreign” at school and “too American” at home. Asking about their experience shows them it matters.

• Celebrate holidays from home, and invite friends
• Cook family recipes together and tell the stories behind them
• Keep photos, music and objects from home where kids can see them
• Set up video calls between grandparents and grandchildren
• Speak your language at home, even a little each day

The APA describes research in which second-generation Jamaican American teens who connected with their heritage culture had healthier eating habits, partly through traditional home cooking.

• Ask which traditions they love most
• Blend old and new, like a holiday dish with a twist
• Let them bring friends to cultural events
• Praise effort with the language, not perfection

• Cultural festivals
• Heritage-language schools
• Hometown or regional associations
• Places of worship and faith groups

The APA notes that belonging in relationships, organisations and cultural groups helps immigrants feel secure and rooted.

A seven-year study of 116 Korean American adoptees found that when parents, and later friends, helped them learn about their heritage, the young people explored and felt more settled in their ethnic identity.

The same study found parents tended to do this less as children became teens, and teens noticed less of it than parents thought they gave.

Ideas for families

• Adoptee groups, where children meet others like them
• Food, music, books and holidays from the birth country
• Friends and mentors who share the child’s heritage
• Keep talking about it as children grow, not only when they are small

Many international adoptees have questions about their birth country, birth family and ethnicity, especially as teens and adults. When they look different from their adoptive family, others may ask intrusive questions.

• Answer questions honestly, in words that fit their age
• Let them feel sad or curious about their birth family
• Practise answers to intrusive questions from others together
• Tell their adoption story often, with warmth

School counselors and family doctors can help you understand your child’s needs and find support. You can ask for a professional interpreter.

211 connects people with local community services, including legal aid and counseling. You can call or text 211, or visit 211.org.

Find A Helpline (findahelpline.com) lists free, confidential crisis lines in many countries. You can search by country and by topic.