Kids’ fears & phobias
Every child is scared sometimes. With your calm support, they can learn that they are braver than their fears.
By the numbers
How common childhood fears and phobias are, and how well they can be treated.
Kids & teens (U.S.)
When phobias start
Treatment works
Normal fears at each age
What most children fear as they grow, and why that’s healthy.
It is normal for children to feel afraid or worried at times. Fears tend to change as children grow, and most specific fears come and go.
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Around 8 or 9 months, babies learn to recognise familiar faces. New people, even a babysitter or relative, can make them cry or cling to you.
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Many toddlers fear being apart from a parent, at daycare drop-off or at bedtime.
Separation anxiety is common from about 6 months to 3 years, and it usually fades by around 2 to 3.
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Young children can pretend, but they can’t always tell real from make-believe. Monsters under the bed, the dark, scary dreams and loud noises like thunder or fireworks are common fears.
Fears of animals, the dark or storms in preschoolers usually ease on their own.
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Once children understand that monsters aren’t real, fears turn to things that could really happen: natural disasters, violence, things in the news, or a loved one getting sick or leaving.
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Older kids often worry about school, appearance, fitting in, bullying and performing in front of others. Some also worry about big world issues.
Research shows fear content shifts with age, from concrete, immediate things in early childhood to more abstract, future-focused worries later on.
Ordinary fear or something more?
When a fear might need extra help.
Most children get past their fears with gentle support. A fear may need more help when it is very strong, lasts beyond the age when it usually fades, or starts getting in the way of everyday life.
It may be time to get advice if the fear…
- Causes frequent meltdowns or big distress
- Comes with stomach aches, a racing heart or trouble sleeping
- Is getting stronger, not easing
- Keeps your child from school, friends, sleep or activities
- Lasts well past the usual age for that fear
Younger children may show anxiety through clinginess, irritability, sleep problems or bedwetting. Older children may have angry outbursts or trouble concentrating.
Why do some kids develop phobias?
Temperament, scary moments, learning, and how avoidance keeps fear going.
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Twin studies suggest genes explain roughly 30% of the risk for specific phobias. Family history of anxiety also raises the chance.
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A frightening experience, like being chased by a dog, can start a phobia.
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Children can learn fears from family or friends, or from how others react around them.
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When children always avoid what scares them, they never get to learn it’s safe. Health experts say working around a fear can reinforce the idea that it’s dangerous.
The dark, monsters & bedtime
Gentle ways to help with night-time fears.
Fears of the dark, monsters and bad dreams are very common between ages 4 and 6, when imagination is strong. For young children, calm words like “It’s OK, you’re safe, I’m here,” hugs, and a soothing bedtime routine can help.
Ideas to try
- Keep a calm, predictable bedtime routine
- Limit scary shows, games and videos, especially before bed
- Praise your child for staying in bed and being brave
- Use hugs and soothing activities, like reading or singing together
Separation worries
When saying goodbye feels hard.
Separation anxiety is a normal stage for babies and toddlers. Practising short times apart helps children learn that you always come back.
Calmer goodbyes
- Start with short separations with a trusted adult.
- Tell your child you are leaving and that you’ll be back.
- Give a hug and keep the goodbye short and warm.
- Try not to sneak away. Saying goodbye builds trust.
- Come back when you said you would.
- Praise them for coping: “You did it!”
Prepare children for big changes, like a new school or a house move, ahead of time. Predictable routines help them feel safe.
Myths vs facts
Clearing up common misunderstandings.
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Most childhood fears are temporary. But phobias persist for several years or even decades in 10–30% of cases, so a strong, lasting fear is worth taking seriously.
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Avoiding a feared thing reinforces the idea that it’s dangerous. Approaching it together, slowly and calmly, helps more.
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Health experts advise against forcing a child into a stressful situation without talking with them first, as it could make the problem worse.
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Giving excessive reassurance is one of the most common ways families “accommodate” anxiety. More accommodation is linked with more severe child anxiety.
Brave steps: a fear ladder for kids
Helping your child face fears one small step at a time.
Helping a child slowly face a fear is one of the most powerful things a parent can do. The idea is to start with the easiest step and build up, praising every brave try.
How to build a brave ladder together
- Talk with your child about the fear and why facing it will help.
- Together, list situations from easiest to hardest.
- Let your child rate each one, for example from 0 to 10, or with “fear faces.”
- Start with the easiest step. Stay with it until the worry starts to settle.
- Practise each step several times before moving up.
- Praise effort, and give a small reward if it helps.
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- Look at pictures of dogs together
- Watch videos of friendly dogs
- Watch a calm dog from across the park
- Stand closer while a trusted owner holds the lead
- Touch the dog’s back while the owner holds it
- Pat the dog by yourself
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In one-session treatment, a therapist helps a child climb their fear ladder in a single longer session (often up to about 3 hours). In a trial of 196 young people aged 7–16, it worked better than education and support, and gains lasted at least 6 months.
In a later trial, about half of children were free of their phobia and much improved after the session.
What helps in the moment
Calming a scared child right now.
Try this
- Stay calm yourself. Children take their cue from you.
- Name the feeling: “You’re feeling really scared right now.”
- Explain that worry is like a wave. It rises, then falls.
- Breathe together: in for a count of three, out for a count of three.
- Remind them of a time they were brave before.
- Afterwards, praise them for coping.
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A “worry box” lets children write or draw their worries and put them away. Distraction can also help younger children.
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Listening carefully helps you understand what your child feels. Try not to make assumptions or brush their worries aside.
How parents can help day to day
Support without accommodating the fear, and caring for yourself.
Parents naturally want to protect children from distress. Changing plans, speaking for them, or giving endless reassurance can feel kind, but researchers call this “accommodation,” and it can keep fear going.
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- Answering questions for the child
- Avoiding mentioning the feared thing
- Giving the same reassurance again and again
- Going everywhere with the child
- Sleeping next to the child
- Staying home or leaving outings early
Nearly all parents of anxious children do some of these. It comes from love, not failure.
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A parent-focused program called SPACE teaches parents to acknowledge their child’s real struggle while showing belief in the child’s ability to handle distress, and to slowly reduce accommodation.
Try something like: “I know this feels really scary. I also know you can handle it.”
In a trial of 124 children aged 7–14, SPACE worked as well as child CBT for anxiety, without the child needing to attend sessions.
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Reduce exposure to frightening images, movies and shows. Try not to become overprotective or anxious yourself.
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Watching your child struggle can stir up your own worries. Talking with other parents, a friend or a professional can help you stay steady.
When and where to get help
Who to talk to, and treatments that work for kids.
If a fear is severe, lasting or affecting daily life, start by talking with your child’s clinical provider. If it’s affecting school, speak with their teacher or school counsellor too.
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Anxiety disorders in children are often very treatable with the right help and support.
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One-session treatment has strong research support for children aged about 7 to 16 with specific phobias.
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SPACE works with parents only, so it can help even when a child refuses therapy.
To find mental health services in the U.S., you can use FindTreatment.gov.
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Sources
- Nemours KidsHealth. Childhood Fears and Worries
- NHS (UK National Health Service). Anxiety in children
- Clinical Psychology Review (peer-reviewed) (2000). The development of normal fear: a century of research (Gullone, Clinical Psychology Review 20(4): 429–451)
- The Lancet Psychiatry (peer-reviewed), via PubMed Central (NIH) (2018). Specific phobias (Eaton, Bienvenu & Miloyan, The Lancet Psychiatry 5(8): 678–686)
- National Institute of Mental Health (NIMH). Specific Phobia (statistics)
- Centers for Disease Control and Prevention (CDC). Data and Statistics on Children’s Mental Health
- NHS (UK National Health Service). Phobias: overview
- Lebowitz, Panza & Bloch, Expert Review of Neurotherapeutics (peer-reviewed) (2016). Family accommodation in obsessive-compulsive and anxiety disorders: a five-year update
- Lebowitz et al. (peer-reviewed) (2020). Parent-Based Treatment as Efficacious as Cognitive-Behavioral Therapy for Childhood Anxiety: A Randomized Noninferiority Study of Supportive Parenting for Anxious Childhood Emotions (Journal of the American Academy of Child & Adolescent Psychiatry 59(3): 362–372)
- Ollendick et al. (peer-reviewed) (2009). One-session treatment of specific phobias in youth: a randomized clinical trial in the United States and Sweden (Journal of Consulting and Clinical Psychology 77(3): 504–516)
- Ollendick et al. (peer-reviewed), via PubMed Central (NIH) (2015). Specific phobias in youth: a randomized controlled trial comparing one-session treatment to a parent-augmented one-session treatment (Behavior Therapy 46(2): 141–155)
- Substance Abuse and Mental Health Services Administration (SAMHSA). Find Treatment: locators (FindTreatment.gov)
- National Institute of Mental Health (NIMH). Help for Mental Illnesses
This guide is for education and self-care. It is not a diagnosis or a substitute for professional care. Please talk to a counselor or clinical provider about your health. Reviewed October 2026.
