Feeling chronically empty
An inner void can feel like it will never fill. Many people find ways to feel more connected, to themselves and to others.
What is chronic emptiness?
A lasting sense of hollowness and disconnection.
Chronic emptiness is a long-lasting feeling of being hollow inside, as if something is missing that nothing can fill. Researchers who reviewed 99 studies concluded it is best understood as a sense of disconnection from yourself and from other people.
Emptiness is often talked about as part of borderline personality disorder (BPD). But researchers at the University of Dundee and University College London found people described emptiness in the same way whatever their diagnosis, including people with no mental health history at all.
Read more
People in the Dundee and UCL study described an inner void that nothing could fill. They felt it both in their mind and in their body.
Some people describe it as hollowness, a hole in the chest, or feeling like a shell.
Read more
People interviewed about emptiness described feeling cut off from themselves, along with numbness and a sense of “nothingness.”
A weak sense of purpose and feeling unfulfilled were closely tied to emptiness.
Read more
People described a strong detachment from other people and the world, and feeling unable to join in, be seen or be part of things.
This can happen even when you have people around you.
How can emptiness feel?
In the words of people who live with it.
One of the researchers called emptiness an “all-encompassing prison” that stops people connecting with themselves, others and the world. Most people who feel it find it distressing.
Ways people describe it
- Feeling like life has no purpose or direction
- Feeling like you don’t matter or don’t make a difference
- Going through life mechanically, like a robot
- Numbness, or a sense of “nothing” inside
- The world feeling distant and far away
Read more
People in the Dundee and UCL study said they felt emptiness physically as well as emotionally.
Noticing where you feel it can be a useful first step in talking about it.
Read more
Emptiness that is frequent and strong is linked with more difficulty at work and in relationships.
One study found it predicted more days off work over a year.
Read more
People described emptiness coming up often and getting in the way of daily life.
Tracking when it is stronger or lighter can show what helps. The “When I feel empty” worksheet can help.
Emptiness, loneliness, boredom or depression?
Close cousins, but not quite the same.
Most people who live with emptiness say it is different from loneliness, hopelessness, dissociation and depression, even though these can overlap.
Read more
Researchers suggest loneliness is mainly about feeling disconnected from the world and other people, while emptiness also includes disconnection from yourself.
Read more
Researchers suggest hopelessness is about disconnection from meaning and the future. Emptiness and hopelessness often show up together, but they are not the same.
Read more
The National Institute of Mental Health lists a persistent sad, anxious or “empty” mood among common signs of depression.
Research on how emptiness and depression relate is mixed. A professional can help untangle what is going on for you.
Read more
Numbness is often part of emptiness, but emptiness usually also includes a sense of purposelessness and not belonging.
Read more
Boredom usually lifts when something interesting comes along. Emptiness tends to stay even when life is busy or full of activity.
Where can emptiness come from?
Identity, connection, purpose and past hurts.
There is no single cause, and research is still young. What people describe, and what researchers have found, points to a few common threads.
Read more
Researchers suggest that building a stronger sense of identity may help reduce emptiness.
If you often shape yourself around other people, it can be hard to know what you want. That can leave a hollow feeling inside.
Read more
Purposelessness and lack of fulfilment were closely tied to emptiness in interviews with people who live with it.
People in the Dundee and UCL study described feeling they were not contributing to the world.
Read more
Emptiness is closely tied to feeling cut off from other people.
Researchers suggest that stronger relationships and better day-to-day functioning may lessen how intense emptiness feels.
Read more
Childhood maltreatment is linked with more difficulty identifying and describing feelings as an adult. Being cut off from feelings can make it harder to know yourself.
Read more
Chronic emptiness is one recognised feature of borderline personality disorder, but it is not well defined. It can also show up with depression and in people with no diagnosis.
The pull to fill the void
Why quick fixes tempt, and kinder ways to cope.
Emptiness is painful, so it makes sense to want it gone. People cope in different ways. Many use impulsive ways to get through it, and many use healthier ways to distract themselves.
Research links emptiness with impulsive behaviour and self-harm. Researchers think some people may do these things to escape how distressing emptiness feels.
Read more
- Binge eating, drinking or using drugs
- Constant scrolling or gaming to avoid the quiet
- Hurting yourself
- Overspending
- Risky sex or rushing into relationships
There is no shame in having used these. They are attempts to cope with real pain. The goal is to slowly add other options.
Read more
- Calling or messaging someone
- Cooking, cleaning or tidying one small space
- Getting outside, even for five minutes
- Listening to music or a podcast
- Making something: drawing, writing, building
Distraction won’t fill the void on its own, but it can help you get through a wave safely.
What can help, little by little
Building a self, a purpose and connection.
Researchers suggest that strengthening your sense of who you are, finding purpose, and building better work and relationships may help reduce how intense emptiness feels.
Read more
A stronger sense of identity may lessen emptiness.
Questions to explore
- What did I love doing as a child?
- What makes me angry about the world? That often points to what I value
- When have I felt even a little more like myself?
- Who do I feel most real around?
Read more
Purpose and fulfilment are closely tied to emptiness.
Purpose doesn’t have to be a life mission. Watering plants, helping a neighbour, learning one new skill or showing up for a friend can all count.
Read more
Emptiness is a disconnection from others as well as from yourself. Better relationship functioning may reduce its intensity.
Try regular, low-pressure contact: a weekly walk, a class, a volunteer shift, an online group about something you enjoy.
Read more
Putting feelings into words, even small ones, calms activity in the brain’s alarm centre, brain-scan research has found.
How therapy can help
Support for identity, feelings and connection.
Emptiness can be slow to change, and it can come back. That is not a failure. It is a reason to get ongoing support, not to give up.
Small studies of some talk therapies, including dialectical behaviour therapy (DBT) and mentalization-based therapy, have found emptiness going down. Researchers say more studies are needed.
Things you might work on in therapy
- Building relationships that feel safer and more real
- Finding values and purpose
- Healing from past hurts, at your own pace
- Learning to notice and name feelings
- Swapping risky ways of coping for safer ones
How to support someone who feels empty
Stay curious, stay close, don’t try to fill it for them.
It can be painful to hear someone you love say they feel empty, especially if you are close to them. Emptiness is not a judgement on you or your relationship.
Things that help
- Ask gently about safety if you are worried, and help them reach 988 if needed
- Ask what it’s like for them, and listen
- Do small, regular things together
- Encourage professional support, and offer practical help to find it
- Notice and reflect their strengths and values back to them
Things to avoid
- Listing everything they “should” be grateful for
- Taking it as rejection
- Trying to be their only source of meaning
When and where to get help
Signs it’s time to reach out, and who to call.
Reach out to a professional if
- Emptiness comes with thoughts of death or not wanting to be here
- Emptiness has lasted a long time or keeps returning
- It is getting in the way of work, school or relationships
- You are using risky ways to cope, like self-harm, drinking or drugs
Your primary care provider or a therapist is a good place to start. Telling them “I feel empty a lot” is enough. You don’t need the perfect words.
Free, confidential support in the U.S. (24/7)
- 988 Suicide & Crisis Lifeline: call or text 988, or chat at 988lifeline.org
- Crisis Text Line: text HOME to 741741
- Veterans Crisis Line: call 988 and press 1, or text 838255
Outside the U.S., Find A Helpline (findahelpline.com) lists free, confidential helplines in many countries by phone, text or chat.
📝 Worksheets for this guide
Fill these in privately in the app. Your answers stay on your phone.
Sources
- PLOS ONE (peer-reviewed) (2020). Measuring the shadows: A systematic review of chronic emptiness in borderline personality disorder (Miller, Townsend, Day & Grenyer, PLOS ONE 15(7): e0233970)
- BMC (peer-reviewed) (2021). Understanding chronic feelings of emptiness in borderline personality disorder: a qualitative study (Miller, Townsend & Grenyer, Borderline Personality Disorder and Emotion Dysregulation 8: 24)
- University of Dundee (2021). Study shows links between “emptiness” and suicidal behaviour (Herron & Sani, Journal of Mental Health)
- National Institute of Mental Health (NIMH). Depression
- American Psychological Association (peer-reviewed) (2023). Child maltreatment and alexithymia: a meta-analytic review (Ditzer, Wong, Modi, Behnke, Gross & Talmon, Psychological Bulletin 149(5–6): 311–329)
- Psychological Science (peer-reviewed) (2007). Putting feelings into words: affect labeling disrupts amygdala activity in response to affective stimuli (Lieberman et al., Psychological Science 18(5): 421–428)
- 988 Suicide & Crisis Lifeline. 988 Suicide & Crisis Lifeline
- National Institute of Mental Health (NIMH). Help for Mental Illnesses
- U.S. Department of Veterans Affairs. Veterans Crisis Line
- Crisis Text Line. Crisis Text Line
- ThroughLine (free international helpline directory). Find A Helpline
- International Association for Suicide Prevention (IASP). If you’re in crisis, help is available right now
This guide is for education and self-care. It is not a diagnosis or a substitute for professional care. Please talk to a counselor or clinical provider about your health. Reviewed October 2026.
