Checking on a farmer you’re worried about
You don’t need the perfect words. Pulling up the truck and asking can be enough to change someone’s day.
If someone is in danger right now
What to do first.
- If a life is in danger, call 911.
- Stay with them, or keep them on the phone, if it’s safe for you.
- Call or text 988 together, or call 988 yourself for advice.
- If you can do so safely, help move anything dangerous away from them.
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Free and confidential. You can call 988 for yourself, or to get advice on helping someone else.
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A free, confidential crisis and support line run by the AgriSafe Network. Its staff are trained in the stresses of agriculture. Interpreters are available for calls, and texting works in English and Spanish.
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Free, 24/7 support by text, for anyone who finds texting easier than talking.
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The Veterans Crisis Line is for veterans, service members and their families. Dial 988 and press 1, or text 838255.
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findahelpline.com lists free, confidential crisis lines around the world.
Why checking in matters
Farmers rarely ask for help. Neighbors often notice first.
Many farmers value being self-reliant and keep their struggles private. The people who notice first are often family, neighbors, a vet, a feed dealer, a lender or someone at church.
Asking someone directly whether they are thinking about suicide does not put the idea in their head. Research suggests it may lower distress and help people get support.
Signs a farmer may be struggling
What they say, what they do, and what changes on the farm.
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- Saying the family would be better off without them
- Talking about feeling trapped or in unbearable pain
- Talking about being a burden
- Talking about wanting to die or about suicide
Sometimes it comes out as a joke or a passing comment, like “Won’t matter soon anyway.” Take it seriously.
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- Drinking more
- Giving away prized things, like tools or animals
- Pulling away from family, friends, church or co-op
- Saying goodbye or putting affairs in order
- Sleeping much more or much less
- Unusual rage or reckless behavior
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- Animals not fed or cared for as usual
- Equipment or buildings left in disrepair
- More accidents or near-misses
- Missing sales, meetings or deadlines
These can have many causes. They are a reason to check in, not proof of anything.
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- Anxiety, agitation or irritability
- Deep sadness or hopelessness
- A sudden calm after a very hard time
Times to check in more
Moments when farm stress often peaks.
Money trouble, legal problems, losses and relationship breakdowns can all raise risk. On farms, these often come together.
Reach out especially after
- A crop failure, a herd loss or a disaster
- A death, divorce or family falling-out
- A farm sale, auction or handover
- A foreclosure notice, a lawsuit or a big debt
- A serious injury or illness
- Hard anniversaries, holidays and the slow winter months
How to start the conversation
What to say, and what not to say.
Many farmers find it easier to talk side by side than face to face: in the truck, leaning on a gate, fixing fence. Pick a private moment without a time rush.
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You might say
- “It’s been a brutal year. How are you really holding up?”
- “I’ve noticed you haven’t been at coffee lately. I’ve been thinking about you.”
- “You seem worn down. Want to talk?”
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Asking clearly shows you can handle the answer. It does not plant the idea.
You might say
- “Sometimes when people are under this much pressure they think about suicide. Are you thinking about suicide?”
- “Are you having thoughts of ending your life?”
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Helpful things to say
- “I’m really glad you told me.”
- “That sounds like a lot to carry.”
- “You’re not a burden to me.”
- “We’ll figure out the next step together.”
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- “Think of your family” (they may already believe the family is better off without them)
- “Just pray about it” on its own
- “Everyone has bad years. Toughen up.”
- “You’re not serious, are you?”
- Promising to keep it a secret
If they say yes
Stay calm, stay with them, connect to help.
Hearing “yes” is frightening, but it means they trusted you. Thank them for telling you. Stay calm and stay with them.
The #BeThe1To steps
- Ask: you’ve done this already.
- Be there: listen, and let them know you’re not going anywhere.
- Help keep them safe: put time and distance between them and anything dangerous.
- Help them connect: call or text 988 or the AgriStress Helpline together.
- Follow up: check in over the next days and weeks.
Time and distance from danger
A temporary step that saves lives.
Suicidal crises can be short. Making dangerous items harder to reach for a while gives the crisis time to pass and help time to arrive.
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The safest option while someone is struggling is to store firearms away from the home for a while, with a trusted friend or family member, or another place allowed in your area. Rules vary by place, so check locally.
If that isn’t possible, lock them securely and keep keys and combinations away from the person at risk.
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Farms have many hazards. A 988 counselor or the person’s clinical provider can help you think through what else to store away or lock up for now.
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You might say
- “This is just for now, while things are hard.”
- “I’d feel a lot better if I held onto these for a while.”
- “You’d do the same for me.”
Connecting them to farm-savvy help
People who understand the land, the debt and the pride.
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- 988 Suicide & Crisis Lifeline: call or text 988
- AgriStress Helpline: call or text 833-897-2474
- Crisis Text Line: text HOME to 741741
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If money, legal or disaster problems are behind the crisis, the Farm Aid Hotline, 1-800-FARM-AID (1-800-327-6243), connects farmers with resources on weekdays. It is not a crisis line, so use 988 or AgriStress for urgent support.
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Offer a ride to an appointment, or to cover chores so they can go. Practical help removes one of the biggest barriers for farmers: “I can’t leave the place.”
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- North Central: farmstress.org
- Northeast: cultivemos.org
- South: frsansouth.org
- West: farmstress.us
Following up, and looking after yourself
The days after the talk matter too.
Ways to follow up
- A call or text in the next day or two
- Asking how the appointment or call went
- Inviting them to something ordinary, like coffee or a sale
- Showing up with a hand for a job on the farm
Supporting someone through a crisis is hard on you too. You don’t have to carry it alone. You can call 988 for your own support, and share the load with others the person trusts.
Making your farm community safer
Small steps that add up.
CDC suggests that workplaces can help prevent suicide through peer support, wider access to mental health care, reducing stigma, and limiting access to dangerous means during a crisis.
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Gatekeeper trainings like QPR (Question, Persuade, Refer) teach ordinary people how to spot warning signs and connect someone to help. Ask your Extension office or regional farm stress network about trainings near you.
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- 988 Suicide & Crisis Lifeline: call or text 988
- AgriStress Helpline: 833-897-2474
- Farm Aid Hotline: 1-800-FARM-AID
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When respected farmers say “I’ve struggled too, and talking helped,” it gives others permission to speak up. Stigma shrinks when people share.
📝 Worksheets for this guide
Fill these in privately in the app. Your answers stay on your phone.
Sources
- 988 Suicide & Crisis Lifeline. 988 Suicide & Crisis Lifeline
- 988 Suicide & Crisis Lifeline. Help Someone Else
- Substance Abuse and Mental Health Services Administration (SAMHSA). 988 Frequently Asked Questions
- AgriSafe Network. AgriStress Helpline
- University of Missouri Extension. New AgriStress Helpline available to Missouri farmers
- California Department of Food and Agriculture (CDFA). Farmer & Farmworker Mental Health Resources
- Crisis Text Line. Crisis Text Line
- Substance Abuse and Mental Health Services Administration (SAMHSA). Crisis Text Line (Disaster Behavioral Health Information Series)
- U.S. Department of Veterans Affairs. Veterans Crisis Line
- U.S. Department of Veterans Affairs (VA.gov). Suicide Prevention
- Find A Helpline (ThroughLine). Find A Helpline
- Farm Aid. Resources for Farmers (Farm Aid Hotline)
- U.S. Department of Agriculture, National Institute of Food and Agriculture (NIFA). Farm and Ranch Stress Assistance Network (FRSAN)
- Rural Health Information Hub (RHIhub), funded by HRSA (2026). Rural Response to Farmer Mental Health and Suicide Prevention
- National Institute of Mental Health (NIMH). Warning Signs of Suicide
- National Institute of Mental Health (NIMH). Frequently Asked Questions About Suicide
- American Foundation for Suicide Prevention (AFSP). Risk Factors, Protective Factors, and Warning Signs
- 988 Suicide & Crisis Lifeline (#BeThe1To). #BeThe1To: The 5 Steps and the Evidence Behind Them
- Dazzi, Gribble, Wessely & Fear (peer-reviewed) (2014). Does asking about suicide and related behaviours induce suicidal ideation? What is the evidence? (Psychological Medicine)
- Harvard T.H. Chan School of Public Health. Means Matter
- Harvard T.H. Chan School of Public Health. Means Matter: Recommendations for Families
- Suicide Prevention Resource Center (SPRC). QPR Gatekeeper Training for Suicide Prevention
- Centers for Disease Control and Prevention (CDC) (2023). Suicide Rates by Industry and Occupation — National Vital Statistics System, United States, 2021 (MMWR)
This guide is for education and self-care. It is not a diagnosis or a substitute for professional care. Please talk to a counselor or clinical provider about your health. Reviewed October 2026.
