Starting high school

High school can mean a larger building, unfamiliar entry procedures like security checks, and a longer or new commute. These small things add up to a lot of new in the first weeks.

Teachers are less likely to remind students about deadlines. Multi-day projects and studying over time are often new skills, and reading loads grow.

What helps

• Break big projects into steps across several days
• Keep one calendar for every class
• Look at the week ahead every Sunday
• Ask for help early, not the night before

In high school, grades count toward graduation, and sports or activities often need a minimum grade average.

Freshmen meet older students and more adult topics, including drugs, vaping and sexual attention. The Child Mind Institute suggests talking openly about these before situations come up.

High school can be a chance to try new things, new friends and new styles. It can also feel like everyone else already knows who they are. Trying on different identities is a normal part of growing up.

Many freshmen suddenly hear about grade averages, college and careers. For some, that turns into constant pressure to be perfect.

The Child Mind Institute suggests praising effort and growth rather than only grades, and watching for teens who take on too many activities and lose sleep.

Teens who were bullied or struggled socially in middle school may feel anxious about high school. They may expect the same thing to happen again.

Students who are struggling emotionally but doing well in class can go unnoticed. Parent involvement also often drops in high school, so fewer adults are watching closely.

Teens ages 13–18 need 8–10 hours of sleep, yet the CDC reports that 75% of high school students don’t get enough. Younger high schoolers are more likely than juniors and seniors to get enough sleep, so freshman year is a good time to build habits.

When a teen starts missing classes, it may be worry, low mood, bullying, sleep problems or feeling lost in class. Asking “what’s going on?” works better than punishment alone.

The same research found that students’ grades and attendance were better than expected in schools with supportive teacher–student relationships, and where students felt their work prepared them for the future.

The CDC says students who feel connected at school are less likely to have poor mental health, thoughts of suicide and other risks, and that school connectedness has long-lasting effects into adulthood.

Usually normal

• Being tired and irritable while routines settle
• Complaining about workload or teachers
• Friend groups shifting
• Wanting more time alone or with friends
• Some worry before tests

Things to notice

• Skipping classes or refusing to go to school
• Big sleep changes, or being exhausted all the time
• Losing interest in things they used to love
• Pulling away from all friends, not just some
• A big drop in grades that doesn’t recover
• Using alcohol, vaping or drugs to cope
• Saying they feel hopeless or like a burden

Get help now if a teen

• Talks about wanting to die or not being here
• Is hurting themselves
• Says someone is hurting, threatening or exploiting them

Try

• “What’s different about high school from what you expected?”
• “Who are you hanging out with these days?”
• “What’s taking up most of your headspace right now?”
• “Is there anything I could do that would make this year easier?”

If a teen shares something hard and gets a lecture or an instant plan, they may stop sharing. Reflect what you hear first: “That sounds really stressful.”

Try to avoid

• “These are the best years of your life.”
• “You just need to try harder.”
• “You’re overreacting.”

The Child Mind Institute suggests talking openly and early about sex, drugs and boundaries, and helping teens recognise and speak up when someone makes them uncomfortable.

Hearing that a parent or older sibling also felt lost in freshman year can be reassuring. Keep it short, and bring the focus back to them.

Ways to help

• Practise the commute and routines before school starts
• Encourage one activity at a time and watch for overload
• Praise effort and growth, not just grades
• Protect sleep: screens out of bed
• Go to school events and get to know a few staff

The AAP notes that many crashes involve new teen drivers going to and from school. If your teen drives, limit passengers, ban phone use, and consider a parent–teen driving agreement.

Helpful practices

• Freshman orientation and older student mentors
• An advisor or counselor who checks in on each freshman
• Early alerts when attendance or grades slip
• Clubs and teams that welcome beginners
• Restorative approaches to conflict

Youth groups, faith communities, sports leagues, part-time jobs and volunteering give teens adults who know them outside school. These relationships can carry a teen through a rough patch at school.

Students with ADHD, learning disabilities or planning difficulties may struggle with independent work. The Child Mind Institute encourages teens to learn to ask for accommodations and support.