Music, emotions & memories

In a 2011 brain-imaging study, people who got chills from favourite music released dopamine, a “reward” chemical, in the brain’s pleasure system. The more moved they felt, the bigger the release.

Dopamine was released even while people waited for their favourite moment to arrive. That is part of why anticipation, like a key change you know is coming, feels so good.

Sometimes a song makes you cry before you even know why. Music can reach feelings that are hard to say out loud, like longing, relief or love.

How a song makes you feel depends on your memories, culture and life story. A wedding song for one person might be a breakup song for another.

In one survey, people rated memories as the most important reason music made them feel sad, ahead of the sound of the music itself.

Songs from your teens can be tied to memories even if you don’t like them much now. Adults over about 40 tended to like the songs of their teens more, but younger adults didn’t show this as clearly.

The same study found young adults liked songs from their parents’ teenage years more than other older music. The researchers called this a “cascading” bump: music passed down through families.

Ideas

• Make a playlist for each chapter of your life
• Play songs from a trip or a happy summer when you need a lift
• Share a “song from the year I was born” with a friend

Nostalgic memories are often about people: family meals, friends, first loves. Remembering them can remind you that you are part of something bigger.

When life changes fast, like a move, a loss or a new job, familiar songs can remind you that you are still you. In the same research, nostalgia helped protect wellbeing when people felt their life lacked meaning.

Nostalgia is usually bittersweet. If looking back mostly leaves you feeling that the best is behind you, try pairing an old song with a small plan for something new.

People said sad music offered comfort, like sharing a mood with a friend. About 1 in 4 turned to it when lonely.

The top reason people gave was that sad music lets you feel sadness without real-life consequences. You can cry for three minutes and then press stop.

People also said sad music helped them imagine, vent and work through feelings. Sometimes a good cry with the right song feels like a release valve.

• You feel heavier or more hopeless when the playlist ends
• The same few songs play on repeat for hours or days
• Songs keep you thinking about what went wrong
• You use music to avoid people, not to feel connected

1. Begin with one or two songs that match how you feel.
2. Add songs that feel a little calmer or more hopeful.
3. End with something warm, steady or gently upbeat.
4. Notice how you feel at the end compared with the start.

Sending a friend a song with “this is how I feel today” can open a conversation. Talking can turn a lonely loop into a moment of connection.

Ideas

• A song your loved one sang along to
• Music from their culture, faith or homeland
• A song that makes people smile, not only cry
• Asking family or friends to share one song each

Grief often comes in waves, and a song can trigger one without warning. This is normal. It means the love is still there.

In the moment

• Step outside or somewhere quiet if you need to
• Breathe slowly and notice your feet on the ground
• Let tears come if they want to
• Text someone: “I just heard our song”

Some people make a memorial playlist for anniversaries, birthdays and hard days. Others aren’t ready to hear certain songs for a long time. Both are okay.

Writing a song, a letter set to music, or playing an instrument your loved one played can help you express what words alone can’t. Music therapists can also help people express feelings through music.

A 2025 Cochrane review of 30 studies with 1,720 people found music-based therapy probably improves depressive symptoms in people with dementia. It may also ease some behaviour changes by the end of treatment.

It did not seem to change agitation or thinking skills much, and benefits may fade after therapy ends. Most people in the studies lived in care homes.

• Play songs from when they were young
• Ask what they were doing when a song was popular
• Sing along or dance together
• Look for community concerts or choirs for people with memory loss

Holding hands while a favourite hymn plays, or swaying to a wedding song, can be a way to be together when conversation is hard. Watch their face and body for what they enjoy.

Caring for someone with dementia is demanding. A playlist for your drive home, or a song you sing together, can be a small daily lift for you as well.

• Hide or block songs in your music apps
• Ask friends or a partner not to play certain songs
• Leave a room or put on headphones with your own music

1. Name where you are and what day it is.
2. Feel your feet on the floor and breathe out slowly.
3. Name five things you can see.
4. Put on a song that feels safe to you now.

Over time, some people choose to reclaim a song by playing it during happy moments with safe people. Only do this if and when you want to. A therapist can help if a song brings up trauma.

Ideas

• Each person picks one song from age 14 and explains why
• Grandparents and grandkids teach each other one song
• Friends share a song for each year they’ve known each other

For people far from where they grew up, songs in a home language or style can be a strong link to family and identity. Singing them with others can turn homesickness into belonging.

Record a parent humming a lullaby, a grandparent singing a folk song, or a friend at a birthday. These recordings can become treasured comfort later.

For ideas on making music together and joining groups, see the “Music with others” section in “Music & wellbeing”.

Call or text 988, or chat at 988lifeline.org, any time. You can reach out for yourself or for someone you’re worried about.

A free, 24/7 text line with trained crisis counselors.

A free helpline open day and night, every day of the year, for people with memory loss, caregivers and families. Help is available in many languages, and you can dial 711 for relay services.

Find A Helpline (findahelpline.com) is a free directory of helplines in more than 175 countries, by phone, text or chat.