Going to court: coping with nerves & knowing what to expect

Fear of the unknown is one of the biggest sources of court nerves. Learning the basic steps, like in this guide, can make a big difference.

When something important depends on the outcome, your body treats it like a threat. A racing heart and shaky hands are the body getting ready, not a sign you can’t cope.

Many people find speaking in public hard. In court, judges hear nervous people every day. They are listening to what you say, not grading how smoothly you say it.

Facing the other person can stir up strong feelings. Plan where you will look and what you will do if they make comments.

Family court can feel especially personal because it is about the people closest to you.

In a large study of state courts, more than half of civil cases were debt collection, landlord-tenant or small claims cases.

Witnesses are often asked to wait outside the courtroom until it is their turn to speak.

If you were harmed by a crime, there are victim services and advocates who can support you through the court process.

Put in it

• Your hearing notice
• Copies of each document you want to show
• Your outline and questions
• A pen and notepad

Tips from a court self-help page

• Join at least 10 minutes early
• Have your device charged or plugged in, with enough data for several hours
• Stay muted until it’s your turn, and avoid speakerphone
• Pause before speaking in case there is a delay

Ideas

• Lay out clothes and your folder
• Set two alarms
• Do something calming, like a bath or a short walk
• If worries keep you up, jot them down and tell yourself you’ll handle them tomorrow

Weapons, alcohol and other banned items are not allowed, and court security won’t store them for you. You can usually bring a phone, but keep it on silent.

Many cases are often scheduled at the same time, so you may wait a while. Bring water, a snack for outside the courtroom, and something calm to do.

Common court rules

• Dress neatly
• Don’t eat in the courtroom
• Don’t record audio or video, unless allowed for a disability
• Stand when the judge enters, unless told otherwise
• Take off your hat and turn off your phone

If you don’t understand a question, say “I don’t understand” and ask the judge to repeat it.

Other useful phrases

• “Could you say that again, please?”
• “May I check my notes?”
• “I need a moment, please.”

Be respectful to everyone, including the other side. Don’t argue with the judge or attack the other side.

In the moment

1. Breathe out slowly.
2. Look down at your notes.
3. Wait until it is your turn.
4. Answer the facts, not the insult.

Quick ideas

• Press your feet into the floor and notice the feeling
• Hold a pen and notice its weight and texture
• Name five things you can see around you
• Sip water slowly

Example

1. Fear: “I’m going to freeze and ruin everything.”
2. Steadier: “I have my notes. If I freeze, I can ask for a moment.”

Many courtrooms are open to the public, so a friend or relative may be able to sit in. Check with the court first, especially for family cases, which are sometimes private.

Panic feels awful but passes. Slow your breathing, focus on your feet, and if needed, tell the judge: “I’m feeling unwell. May I have a moment?”

If you need an accommodation, like a sign language interpreter, an accessible room or extra breaks, contact the court as soon as you can. Many courts have an ADA request form.

Anxiety, autism, ADHD and other conditions can also affect how you take part. You can ask what support is available.

If you need an interpreter, contact the court right away. Many courts have a form to request one.

The Legal Services Corporation’s website, lsc.gov, can help you find a free civil legal aid office near you. LawHelp.org has plain-language guides and free forms by state.

Court self-help centers can explain forms and steps. Staff can’t tell you what to say at your hearing, but they can help you understand the process.

Things to check

• Ask the clerk how to get a copy of the order
• Write down what you remember right away
• Note any dates or deadlines
• Ask a lawyer, legal aid or self-help center if anything is unclear

Ideas

• Eat something nourishing
• Call or meet someone supportive
• Go for a walk
• Get an early night

If there is another hearing, write down what went well and what you’d do differently. Each time, the process feels a little more familiar.