Sexual assault & rape

CDC counts completed or attempted rape, being made to penetrate someone, sexual coercion and unwanted sexual contact as contact sexual violence.

Sexual coercion means being pressured into sex through things like repeated asking, guilt, threats or using power over you. A yes given under pressure is not free consent.

CDC includes technology-facilitated sexual violence, such as sharing sexual pictures of someone without consent, as a form of sexual violence.

Sexual harassment at work or in public is also a form of sexual violence. The Workplace bullying & harassment guide covers work.

Past or current relationships do not mean consent. Nearly half of female rape victims were raped by a current or former partner.

The “Domestic violence: the basics” guide covers partner abuse, safety planning and leaving safely.

Consent can be taken back at any point. Saying yes once, or in the past, does not mean yes now or in the future.

A person who is drunk, drugged, asleep or unable to understand what is happening cannot give consent.

CDC defines sexual violence as sexual activity when consent is not obtained or freely given. A yes that comes from fear, threats or pressure is not freely given.

Simple ways to check in

• “Do you want to keep going?”
• “Is this okay?”
• “We can stop any time.”

If someone seems unsure, quiet or frozen, stop and check. The Sexual health & wellbeing guide has more on healthy intimacy.

The body may freeze or try to please a threat to stay safe. This is not consent.

CDC says the person is usually someone the survivor knows. Nearly half of female rape victims were raped by a current or former partner.

CDC reports that more than 1 in 6 U.S. men have experienced contact sexual violence, and 1 in 26 men were made to penetrate someone in their lifetime.

Being drunk or high is never an invitation. A person who is drunk, drugged or asleep cannot consent.

Some survivors try to block out the memory for months or years. That is one way the mind copes. CDC notes that many cases go unreported.

In the first days and weeks, many survivors feel shocked, foggy and confused. It may be hard to concentrate. Some people also notice headaches, dizziness, stomach problems, tight muscles or not wanting to eat.

This is the mind and body reacting to something overwhelming. It is not a sign you are “not coping”.

Flashbacks, nightmares and sleep problems are common after sexual trauma. A sound, smell or place can bring memories rushing back.

Things that may help in the moment

• Breathe slowly, making the out-breath longer
• Feel your feet on the floor
• Name five things you can see around you
• Remind yourself: “That was then. I am safe right now.”

Trauma-focused talk therapy can help memories feel less overwhelming over time. The “My grounding plan” worksheet can help you prepare.

Many survivors struggle with guilt, shame, humiliation or feeling worthless. These feelings are very common, but they are not the truth.

Some survivors try to block out the memory or tell themselves it was “not a big deal”. This can last months or even years. It is one way the mind tries to cope.

Healing is not a straight line. People can move back and forth between stages, and that is okay.

CDC lists depression, anxiety and thoughts of suicide among the possible effects of sexual violence. Some survivors develop post-traumatic stress.

Sexual violence is linked to lasting health problems, and to more smoking, alcohol and drug use. Survivors may need time off work or find relationships harder for a while.

Intimacy can feel different afterwards. Going slowly and saying what feels okay is your right. For anything medical, talk with your clinical provider.

At a hospital, you can ask for a sexual assault nurse examiner (SANE) or forensic examiner. They can treat injuries, talk with you about your sexual health, and collect evidence if you want.

Exams are your choice. You can accept some parts and decline others.

Under U.S. federal rules, the exam should be free for survivors whether or not they report to police.

Evidence fades over time, so sooner is better if you want it collected. But it can still be worth asking about an exam even if more than a week has passed, and medical and emotional care help at any time.

Hospital staff can connect you with a local rape crisis center for counseling and support groups. RAINN’s hotline can also help you find local care.

You can call 911 or go to your local police. You can ask for an advocate to be with you. A specially trained officer can explain the process.

Some states use “blind” or anonymous reporting, where your evidence kit is given a number instead of your name. You can use that number if you decide to report later.

Rules differ by state. A hotline advocate can explain what is available where you live.

Many survivors never report, and that is a valid choice. You can still get medical care, counseling and support.

More than 1 in 6 U.S. men have experienced contact sexual violence. Nearly 8 in 10 male survivors who were made to penetrate someone say it first happened before age 25.

Men may face extra shame or fear of not being believed. Your experience is real, and help is for you too. The Male survivors of abuse guide is written for you.

More than 1 in 5 U.S. women have experienced completed or attempted rape. More than 4 in 5 female rape survivors were first raped before age 25.

CDC reports that more than 2 in 5 American Indian or Alaska Native women and multiracial women have been raped in their lifetime.

The LGBTQ+ mental health guide and the Culture & mental health guide look at support that fits your identity.

The Military sexual trauma (MST) guide covers support for service members and veterans.

Talk therapy, like cognitive behavioral therapy, can help survivors understand and process what happened. The Therapies for trauma guide explains trauma therapies in more detail.

Rape crisis centers often run counseling and support groups. Being with other survivors can ease the feeling of being alone.

Feelings can come back suddenly, even months or years later. Planning ahead for hard dates, and knowing your grounding steps, can help.

RAINN’s hotline connects you with a trained support specialist, free and confidential, 24/7, in English and Spanish. They can help you find local care, like a hospital that supports survivors.

How to reach them

• Call 1-800-656-4673
• Chat at RAINN.org/hotline
• Text HOPE to 64673

Call 911 if you are in danger or need urgent medical care.

988 is free, confidential and open 24/7. You can also text HOME to 741741 to reach a crisis counselor.

Advocates can help with safety planning, shelters and legal help, 24/7.

Choose your country and a topic like sexual assault to see local support. In the UK, sexual assault referral centres (SARCs) offer care to anyone.