When APS is involved with your family

The “APS: what to know” guide explains what APS is, why it differs by state, signs to watch for, how to report and the adult’s right to choose.

The “Scams & protecting an older adult’s money” guide covers common scams, warning signs and a money safety checklist.

APS is for adults. If a child is involved, the “CPS: what to know” guide explains how CPS works.

NCEA says the single most important thing you can do is cooperate fully and share what you know if the investigator contacts you.

If there isn’t enough evidence that mistreatment more likely than not happened, the case is closed. If it did happen, you may be asked to help keep the person safe.

The investigator should explain your rights. You decide what happens and what help you get, unless a psychologist or physician finds you can’t make your own decisions and a judge agrees.

APS workers are expected to seek your informed consent, respect your privacy and culture, and involve you as much as possible in the plan.

APS holds client information in strict confidence. It generally can’t be shared without a court order or a release signed by the adult. That is why family members are not always told what APS found.

• Financial help
• Home-delivered meals
• Housing help
• Legal help
• Medical or mental health care
• Personal care

APS guidelines favor the least restrictive help first, and family and informal support when that is in the adult’s best interest.

APS is a social services program, not the police. But some types of elder abuse are crimes. If you have legal concerns, talk to a lawyer or legal aid office.

Sometimes a person is struggling with their health, memory or mood and needs support. Sometimes they are making a choice others don’t like, which adults have the right to do as long as it doesn’t harm others.

An adult who can make their own decisions can turn down help, even if others think it’s unwise. Involuntary steps are only possible when a professional finds the person can’t make decisions and a court agrees.

See “Capacity: who decides?” below.

• Help with one bill or one room at a time
• Offer rides or company at appointments
• Set up home-delivered meals or regular visits
• Ask the Eldercare Locator about local services

The “When someone you love hoards” guide has kind, practical ways to help. The “Loneliness: understanding it” guide may help too, since isolation often plays a part.

Under APS rules, an adult decides what happens unless a psychologist or physician evaluates them, reports they can’t make their own decisions, and a judge agrees.

Family members, neighbors or APS workers can’t make that decision on their own.

NCEA explains that a person can seem confused or forgetful and still not be impaired enough for a professional to recommend involuntary help.

Memory changes can be hard to watch. The dementia guides in this app explain more about memory and care.

NAPSA’s code of ethics says adults have the right to make decisions that don’t match what others would do, as long as they don’t harm others.

When an adult can’t say what they want, APS guidelines ask workers to use what is known about the person’s lifelong values. If that isn’t known, they act in the person’s best interest.

Writing down wishes early, while someone can still decide, helps everyone. The “Independence & care in later life” guide covers planning ahead.

With supported decision-making, the person keeps the right to decide. They choose trusted supporters to help them understand options and share their choices. It can be informal, or written down in an agreement.

ACL stresses that the person must trust their supporters to respect their wishes.

A power of attorney lets a person name someone to make decisions about money and property, or about health care, for them. It must be set up while the person can still decide.

Misusing a power of attorney is a common form of financial abuse, so choose carefully and keep things open.

• Advance directives, for health care wishes
• Informal help from trusted family, friends or community members
• Joint bank accounts
• Representative payees, who manage benefits like Social Security
• Trusts

The CFPB’s free “Managing someone else’s money” guides are written for agents under a power of attorney, court-appointed guardians of property, trustees and government benefit payees.

Guardianship laws vary by state. ACL notes that courts don’t always consider alternatives. Ask whether a limited option would work, and talk to a lawyer or legal aid office.

NIA suggests talking with them when the two of you are alone. You could say you think something is wrong and you’re worried. Offer to go with them to get help, for example at a local APS agency.

Things you might say

• “I’ve noticed some things and I’m worried about you.”
• “You don’t have to decide anything today.”
• “Whatever you choose, I’m still here.”

Many people fear that reporting will make things worse, feel ashamed, or want to protect a family member who is harming them. Some depend on that person for care.

• Keep your own dated notes
• Offer one practical thing, like meals, rides or help with bills
• Share helpline numbers in case they change their mind
• Visit and call regularly, so they are less isolated
• You can still report your concerns to APS. They will respect the person’s choices, but they can check in and offer help

Supporting someone who refuses help is stressful. Talk to someone you trust, and get support for yourself. The “Caregiver stress & burnout” guide has more on caregiver stress.

• Feeling resentful, hopeless or numb
• No time at all for your own rest or health
• Skipping care tasks because you’re exhausted
• Snapping, yelling, or handling the person roughly

These are signs to get support, not proof you are a bad person.

NIA suggests making time to rest, asking family or friends to cover for a few hours or a weekend, and looking to faith communities for volunteers. Respite care can give a break for an afternoon or for days or weeks.

The ARCH National Respite Locator helps family caregivers find respite services by state and area. The Eldercare Locator (1-800-677-1116) can connect you with local services too.

NCEA says the most important thing a relative can do is cooperate fully and share what they know. If there isn’t enough evidence that mistreatment more likely than not happened, the case is closed. If it did happen, you may be asked to help keep the person safe.

Most APS cases involve voluntary help, like services at home. Being honest about what you’re struggling with can open the door to support.

Some types of elder abuse are crimes. If you have legal concerns, talk to a lawyer or legal aid office.

Connects older adults and families with local services, including APS, caregiver support and respite. You can also chat online at eldercare.acl.gov.

Each state runs its own APS line. Reports go to the state where the adult lives.

Search for respite services in your state and area. Listings are for information only, so check any provider before you hire them.

For guardianship, powers of attorney or other legal worries, talk to a lawyer or legal aid office. Guardianship laws differ by state, so local advice matters. The Eldercare Locator can point you to local services for older adults.

Call or text 988 if you are struggling or feel unsafe with your thoughts. It is free, confidential and open 24/7. You can also text HOME to 741741. Call 911 if anyone is in urgent danger.

Find A Helpline lists free crisis lines by country. Local social services can explain how adult protection works where you live.