Women & money stress

In 2023, women working full time earned about 84% of what men earned. The gap has narrowed a lot since 1979, but it has not closed.

Lower pay can also mean smaller retirement savings and benefits later on, because many are linked to earnings.

Women spend more time than men on household work and hands-on childcare each day. That time is valuable, but it does not show up on a pay slip.

Many women spend their later years on their own. Among U.S. women aged 70 and over, 39% are widowed and 14% are divorced or separated.

In developing economies, 74% of men but only 68% of women had a bank or mobile money account in 2021. The gap has narrowed, but it remains.

Research on household work shows women in couples often carry more of the anticipating, planning and monitoring. Keeping track of family money can be a big part of this invisible load.

Studies suggest that worrying about money can use up mental bandwidth, making it harder to think clearly and plan ahead. It is a result of stress, not a lack of intelligence.

Many women feel guilty about spending on themselves, or ashamed of debt. Shame makes it harder to ask for help, which can make money problems grow.

Money worry can show up as poor sleep, low mood, irritability and feeling on edge. Noticing these signs is a first step to caring for yourself.

A 2025 national report found 63 million Americans are family caregivers. Half reported a negative financial impact, a quarter had taken on debt, and one in five could not afford basic needs like food.

Seven in ten family caregivers are employed, and many lack supportive benefits at work. Some cut their hours or leave work, which can affect pay and savings for years.

Mothers living with young children spend more time each day on childcare than fathers. Some step back from paid work, which can affect pay and retirement savings later.

Ideas to explore

• Ask family members to share caregiving costs or time
• Ask your employer about flexible hours or leave
• Keep some retirement saving going, even a small amount, if you can
• Look into local caregiver support through 211

The Equal Pay Act says men and women in the same workplace must get equal pay for substantially equal work. It covers salary, overtime, bonuses and benefits.

Time limits apply: generally two years to file (three if the violation was wilful). The EEOC website explains how to file.

Ways to find out

• Ask trusted colleagues or mentors
• Check job postings that list pay ranges
• Look at professional association salary surveys
• Use the government’s occupational pay data

A simple approach

1. List your wins and extra responsibilities
2. Find out the pay range for your role
3. Practise what you will say with a friend
4. Ask for a meeting, and name a specific number
5. If the answer is no, ask what would make it a yes

Taking on extra shifts or side jobs can help in the short term. Over time, chronic work stress can harm mental health.

Splitting one income into two homes can be a shock. It helps to gather documents early: bank statements, debts, retirement accounts and tax returns.

Many older women are widowed. Being thrown into money decisions while grieving can feel overwhelming.

First steps

• Check your free credit report at AnnualCreditReport.com
• List what comes in and what goes out each month
• Make a list of accounts, debts and passwords in a safe place
• Talk with a free, reputable credit counselor if debt feels heavy

Examples

• Blocking your access to bank accounts
• Giving you an “allowance” and checking every receipt
• Keeping you from working or sabotaging your job
• Running up debt in your name or damaging your credit
• Withholding money for food, transport or health care

Ideas some survivors use

• Check your credit report for debts you did not agree to
• Keep copies of important documents somewhere safe
• Learn about your household’s accounts and bills
• Talk with an advocate before making big moves

Money in families & relationships has a section on when money is used to control. Domestic violence: the basics covers safety planning.

Feeling unsure about money often comes from never being taught, not from lacking ability. Anyone can learn, at any age.

Many women give generously to children, parents and relatives, sometimes at the expense of their own safety net. Setting limits is a way of caring for your future self.

Try saying

• “I am learning, and that is enough for today.”
• “I can ask questions. That is smart, not silly.”
• “My worth is not my bank balance.”
• “One small step still counts.”

The report found that older women’s households with more ready cash or a pension were more likely to feel confident about retirement, even at similar levels of wealth.

Be wary of anyone who pressures you to act fast, asks for gift cards or wire transfers, or promises guaranteed returns.

Friendships, purpose and health matter as much as money for wellbeing in later life.

Some women start money circles with friends, join workshops at libraries or community centres, or ask a trusted relative to be a sounding board.

The FTC says credit counseling is often available at low cost through credit unions, universities, Cooperative Extension offices and military financial managers. Ask about fees in writing, and be wary of anyone who promises to fix everything.

You can call 211 to find local help with bills, food and housing.

Ways to help

• Ask how she is feeling, not just what she owes
• Avoid “you should have…” comments
• Offer practical help, like childcare or a lift to an appointment
• Help her find free, reputable advice
• Notice if she seems hopeless, and help her reach 988