War, conflict & displacement

People affected by war come from every background, faith and point of view. This guide does not take sides in any conflict. It focuses on what people go through, and on what helps.

You may hold strong views about a war, or feel torn. Your feelings deserve care either way, and so do the feelings of people who see things differently.

Related guides

• Survivor’s guilt: when you lived and others didn’t
• Generational trauma: how war can echo through families
• Grief: when someone you love has died
• Immigration: visas, belonging and living between two cultures
• Surviving disasters & life’s big adversities: preparing and recovering
• Trauma & PTSD: what trauma does to the brain and body
• Veterans: for people who served in the military

Reading about war can stir up memories or worry, especially if it is happening to you or your family right now. You can stop, take a break, and come back later.

If you feel overwhelmed while reading

1. Put your feet flat on the floor.
2. Breathe out slowly, a little longer than you breathe in.
3. Name five things you can see around you.
4. Do something kind for your body: water, a snack, a stretch.

When danger is close, the body stays ready to react. You may jump at sudden sounds, sleep lightly, or find it hard to relax even when things are quiet. These are common reactions to living under threat.

Once you are safer, this alarm can take time to settle. Loud bangs, sirens, aircraft or certain smells may set it off again for a while.

War can close schools, end jobs, cut power and water, and break up neighbourhoods. Losing the ordinary rhythm of life is stressful in itself, on top of fear for safety.

Small routines can help: eating together, a short prayer or ritual, a walk at the same time each day, or a game with children. Routines remind the mind that some things are still steady.

People affected by war may grieve loved ones, a home, a job, a language, a culture and a planned future, sometimes all at once. WHO lists grief as one of the common problems after emergencies.

There may be no chance for a funeral, or no way to visit a grave. That can make grief feel stuck. Creating your own ways to remember, like lighting a candle or sharing stories, can help.

In war, people make choices with little time and no good options: whether to stay or go, who to take, what to leave. Later, it is common to replay these decisions and feel guilt.

Feelings like guilt, anger and shame are common after frightening events. Looking back, try to remember what you actually knew, and what you could control, at the time.

Even in war, people share food, shelter children, and look after each other. WHO names community self-help and social support as key parts of mental health care in emergencies.

Noticing and remembering these acts of kindness can be a source of hope, and of pride in your community.

• Asylum seeker: someone who has asked another country for protection and is waiting for a decision
• Internally displaced person: someone forced to flee who stays inside their own country
• Refugee: someone who has fled to another country to escape conflict or persecution

UNHCR, the UN Refugee Agency, notes that most people forced to flee never cross an international border. They stay displaced inside their own country.

Refugees may have lived through war or persecution, and these experiences can affect their mental and physical health long after. More hardship can happen while fleeing.

WHO lists violence, detention, life-threatening conditions and lack of basic needs as risks during travel and transit.

Grief is often huge: for people who died, for a home, a language, a job, a culture, and a future that was planned.

Asylum seekers may wait a long time for an answer. WHO names uncertain legal status, and in some cases detention, among the stresses that can harm mental health after arrival.

Not knowing whether you can stay makes it hard to plan, rest or feel settled. It is common to feel anxious, low or stuck while waiting.

Things that can help

• Ask a trusted legal aid or community organisation to explain each step
• Build small routines that don’t depend on the decision
• Keep copies of important papers in a safe place
• Stay connected with people who understand

People displaced inside their own country may move several times, live with relatives or in camps, and still be close to danger. UNHCR counts more internally displaced people than refugees worldwide.

Some people return home after fighting stops, only to find homes damaged and services missing. UNHCR notes that many returns happen in very hard conditions.

When family are in danger, it is natural to keep your phone close and check for messages all the time. Uncertainty and worry can affect the whole family.

Ideas that can help

• Agree on regular check-in times with family, if that is possible
• Ask one relative to share updates with everyone, so you are not all chasing news
• Keep a list of numbers and messaging apps family use
• Plan something calming for the time right after a hard call

A large U.S. study after the 2013 Boston Marathon bombings found that people who took in 6 or more hours a day of coverage reported more acute stress than some people who were there in person. The study shows a link, not proof of cause.

The National Child Traumatic Stress Network suggests that, even when family is involved, everyone takes some time each day away from coverage.

A gentler news habit

• Avoid graphic videos and images where you can
• Check a few trusted sources at set times
• Mute or unfollow accounts that leave you shaking
• Turn off news alerts at night

Many people feel guilty eating a good meal, laughing, or sleeping in a safe bed while loved ones suffer. This kind of guilt is common, and it comes from love.

Being worn out does not help the people you love. Resting, eating and enjoying small moments keep you strong enough to support them over time.

NCTSN notes that families with roots in a region at war may worry about their children facing verbal aggression, hate or threats at school or in their communities.

What can help

• Let children know they can always tell you or a trusted adult
• Practise calm ways to respond, or walk away, at home
• Report threats or hate to the school, workplace or police
• Stay close to community and faith groups

People often see a war differently, even within one family. Arguments online and at home can add to the pain. NCTSN notes that different perspectives and misinformation about war are common.

Ways to protect relationships

• Agree on times or places where the topic is off limits
• Listen for the fear or grief underneath someone’s words
• Step away from conversations that turn hostile
• Remember what you share, beyond this one topic

• Acting out more than usual
• Changes in sleep or appetite
• Feeling sad, scared or helpless
• Trouble concentrating
• Worry about being apart from caregivers

For some children, news of war can be a reminder of their own past trauma or loss. Comfort, reassurance and connection with family help.

1. Ask what they already know or have heard.
2. Don’t assume you know what they think or feel. Ask.
3. Gently correct anything that isn’t true.
4. For younger children, explain where the war is and that they are safe where they are.
5. Let them know it is OK to come back with more questions later.

It is fine to say you are upset too, and that you don’t know every answer. You can find answers together.

NCTSN says the more time children spend watching war coverage, the more likely they are to be upset by it. Very young children may not understand that it is not happening near them. If possible, preschool children should not watch coverage at all.

With older children, watch together and talk afterwards. Ask what they are seeing on social media too.

• Keep routines as steady as you can
• Offer extra patience, hugs and time together
• Point out the many people helping
• Let children help in small ways, like drawing cards or joining a community drive

For children who have fled war, keeping photos, stories, songs and traditions alive can help them feel connected to family and home.

WHO notes that for refugee children, going to school is linked to better mental health. School brings routine, friends and hope for the future.

Children may need time to catch up, learn a new language, or feel safe in a classroom again. Teachers and school counselors can help when they know a child’s story, shared only with the family’s permission.

WHO names language barriers as one reason refugees and migrants often don’t get the care they need. Forms, appointments and phone calls can feel exhausting.

What can help

• Ask for an interpreter at health and legal appointments
• Ask community groups or libraries about free language classes
• Bring a trusted person to important meetings
• Keep a folder with copies of key documents

WHO says insecure income, work, housing or food can harm mental health. Many people also lose their profession and status, like a teacher or doctor starting over in a very different job.

It is normal to grieve the work and standing you had. Your skills and experience are still yours.

WHO notes that racism and discrimination can delay people from seeking help and are linked to worse mental health.

Being treated unfairly is not your fault. Talking with people who understand, and reporting incidents where it is safe to do so, can help you feel less alone.

Feeling lonely or “between two worlds” is common. So is feeling grateful and grieving at the same time.

Children often pick up a new language and customs faster than adults. This can shift roles in families, with children translating for parents. Talking openly about these changes can ease tension.

Many people hold things together while they are in survival mode. Once they are safer, memories, grief and exhaustion may arrive all at once. This is a common pattern, not a sign that something is wrong with you.

WHO says distress after hard experiences improves over time for most people, while others may need more support. Reaching out early is a sign of strength.

Family researcher Pauline Boss calls this “ambiguous loss”: a loss with no clear ending, such as when a loved one is missing. It can freeze grief, because there is nothing certain to mourn.

People in this situation often swing between hope and despair. Both are understandable. It can help to hold two thoughts at once: “They may come back” and “I need to live my life now.”

The American Red Cross Restoring Family Links service works with Red Cross and Red Crescent societies around the world to help find and reconnect family members separated by conflict, disaster or migration. The service is free and confidential.

Outside the U.S., your national Red Cross or Red Crescent society can usually help with family tracing.

Children separated from caregivers may become very clingy, withdrawn or anxious, and may need extra comfort and routine once they are with a safe adult again.

WHO recommends avoiding the separation of families and children wherever possible, because family is such an important source of support.

• Cook a family recipe on special days
• Keep a shared photo album or voice-note thread
• Light a candle or say a prayer for each other at the same time
• Write letters, even ones you can’t send yet

Reunions can be joyful and also hard. People change through separation, and it can take time to get to know each other again. The Immigrant families guide has more on family reunification.

WHO says a shared background and community support are linked to better mental health for refugees and migrants.

Speaking your language at home, celebrating holidays, cooking familiar food and passing on stories help children and adults feel rooted, even far from home.

For many people, faith offers hope, a way to make sense of suffering, and a ready-made community. Faith groups often help newcomers with food, housing, language and friendship.

War can also shake faith. Questioning and doubt are common after great loss. The Faith & mental health and Spirituality your way guides in this app explore this gently.

WHO highlights community self-help and social support as key parts of mental health care in emergencies, along with clear information about where to find help.

Places to look

• Community centres serving people from your country or region
• Faith communities
• Libraries and adult education programmes
• Local refugee resettlement and legal aid organisations
• Your national Red Cross or Red Crescent society

Ways to help

• Ask about culture and traditions with curiosity
• Help with language practice, rides or forms
• Invite new neighbours to community or faith events
• Never pressure anyone to talk about what they went through
• Volunteer with a local refugee or resettlement group

WHO also encourages social inclusion, so newcomers can take part fully in community life.

Some people who have lived through war go on to help others: interpreting, mentoring newcomers, or leading community groups. Finding meaning does not erase the pain, but it can sit alongside it.

What helps

• Ask “How are you doing today?” rather than “What happened?”
• Accept silence
• Believe what they tell you
• Let them lead

What to avoid

• Asking for details of violence or loss
• Comparing their story to others
• Debating the politics of the war
• Saying “at least you’re safe now”

• Childcare for an appointment
• Help finding a doctor, school or legal aid
• Lifts to appointments or the shops
• Practising conversation in a new language
• Sharing a meal

WHO lists basic needs like housing, income and legal support as important for mental health. Practical help is mental health help.

Dates of a loss, of leaving home, or big news from the region may be painful. A simple message, “Thinking of you today”, can mean a lot.

If someone you know has family in a place at war, check in when it is in the news. Ask what they need rather than guessing.

Listening to stories of loss can leave you sad, tired or on edge. Share your own feelings with someone you trust, and take breaks.

988 Suicide & Crisis Lifeline: call or text 988, or chat at 988lifeline.org. Free, confidential and available 24/7.

Crisis Text Line: text HOME to 741741 for free, 24/7 support by text.

If a life is in danger, call 911.

To search for relatives separated by conflict, disaster or migration, contact the American Red Cross Restoring Family Links service through redcross.org. It is free and confidential.

findahelpline.com lists free, confidential helplines in many countries, by phone, text or chat. You can filter by topic and language.

Your national Red Cross or Red Crescent society can also help with family tracing.