Talking to your doctor about mental health
Your mind is part of your health. You are allowed to bring it up, in your own words, at any visit.
By the numbers
How common mental health concerns are, and how often people get help.
United States
In the doctor’s office
Why start with your regular doctor?
A familiar provider can check your body and point you to the right help.
If you don’t know where to start, the National Institute of Mental Health (NIMH) suggests raising it with your primary care provider. That might be a doctor, a physician assistant or a nurse practitioner.
Mental health is part of your overall health. A full check can include a physical exam and sometimes blood work, because some physical problems, like a thyroid condition, can cause symptoms that look like low mood.
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Mental health conditions can run in families. NIMH says knowing your family’s mental health history can help your provider suggest ways to lower your risk and watch for early signs.
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The American Psychiatric Association says a mental health assessment often includes a full health check, which may include a physical exam, blood work or neurological tests.
People with mental health conditions can also be at higher risk of conditions like heart disease or diabetes, so looking after both matters.
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NIMH notes that your primary care provider can refer you to a mental health professional, such as a psychologist, psychiatrist or clinical social worker, including ones who offer video visits.
Finding the words to start
Simple openers for when you don’t know how to begin.
Starting is often the hardest part. You don’t need medical words or a name for what’s going on. Plain, honest words are enough.
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Appointments are short, so NIMH suggests writing down your questions and concerns ahead of time. Bringing it up first gives your provider time to listen and plan.
You could say
- “Before we start, I want to talk about how I’ve been feeling.”
- “The main thing I came in for today is my mood.”
- “I’d like to save some time for my mental health.”
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NIMH suggests describing your symptoms in detail: when they started, how strong they are and how often they happen. Also mention big stresses or recent changes in your life.
Openers you can borrow
- “I haven’t felt like myself for a few months.”
- “I’m not sleeping, and I feel on edge most days.”
- “Things I used to enjoy don’t interest me anymore.”
- “My worry is getting in the way of work.”
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Health care providers see strong feelings every day. It’s OK to pause, take a breath or ask for a tissue.
Things you can say
- “This is hard for me to talk about.”
- “Can you give me a moment?”
- “I wrote some notes. Can I read them to you?”
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Some people find it easier to write a few lines before the visit and hand them to the provider. It gets the main points across, even if the words won’t come out loud.
What your provider may ask
Short questionnaires and everyday questions, and why they ask them.
Many providers ask everyone a few questions about mood and worry, often on a short form. In 2023 the U.S. Preventive Services Task Force recommended depression screening for all adults, and anxiety screening for adults 64 and younger.
Questions you might hear
- How are you eating and sleeping?
- How long has this been going on?
- How much is it affecting work, school, home or relationships?
- Is there a lot of stress or change in your life right now?
- What helps, and what makes it worse?
- Have you had thoughts of harming yourself?
Being honest about the hard parts
Why the uncomfortable details help, and what stays private.
Open, honest talk is what lets a provider help you. NIMH notes that what you discuss with your provider is private and can’t be shared without your permission.
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Drinking or using other substances can affect sleep, mood and worry. Sharing honestly helps your provider understand what’s going on, without judgment.
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NIMH lists thoughts of death or suicide among the experiences worth sharing with a provider. Saying it out loud lets them help you stay safe and find the right support.
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NIMH notes that unexplained aches, pains or digestive problems, and tiredness, can be part of how mental health struggles show up.
The American Psychiatric Association adds that people from different cultures may express distress in different ways, sometimes through physical complaints.
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NIMH suggests sharing major stresses or recent life changes, since they can trigger or worsen symptoms.
Examples worth mentioning
- A breakup, loss or move
- Caring for someone
- Money or housing worries
- Pregnancy or a new baby
- Trouble at work or school
What can happen next
Options your provider may offer, and questions to ask before you leave.
There is no one-size-fits-all approach. NIMH says people may see more than one provider or try different kinds of care before finding what works.
Possible next steps
- A check of your physical health, sometimes with blood tests
- A follow-up visit to see how things are going
- A referral to a counselor, psychologist, psychiatrist or social worker
- Information about support groups or community services
- Video or phone care if getting to an office is hard
Questions to ask before you leave
- “Could anything physical be part of this?”
- “What do you think is going on?”
- “What are my options, and what do you suggest?”
- “Who should I see next, and how do I book?”
- “When should I come back, and who do I call if things get worse?”
If you feel brushed off
What to say, and what to do, when you don’t feel heard.
Sometimes a visit doesn’t go the way you hoped. You might be told “it’s just stress” or feel rushed. Your concerns still matter, and you can speak up again.
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Phrases to try
- “This is affecting my work and sleep every week.”
- “I’m worried this is more than stress. What else could it be?”
- “What would we do if this doesn’t get better?”
- “Can you write in my notes that I asked about this?”
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Ask what will happen next, and when you should check back in. A follow-up date helps keep things moving.
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NIMH notes that you can get a second opinion from a different provider.
Language, culture and comfort
Free interpreters, cultural fit and bringing someone you trust.
Talking about feelings is hard enough in your own words. Under a federal civil rights rule (Section 1557 of the Affordable Care Act), covered health programs must offer language help free of charge, and it must be accurate and timely.
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Under the rule, covered providers can’t require you to bring or pay for your own interpreter. They also can’t rely on a child to interpret, except briefly in an emergency.
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NIMH says a companion can offer support, take notes and help you remember. Some people see the provider alone first, then invite their companion in to hear the plan.
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The American Psychiatric Association notes that stigma and distrust of the health system can keep people in some communities from seeking care.
Helping a child or teen talk to a doctor
How parents and caregivers can open the door.
NIMH suggests first talking with people who see your child often, like teachers or coaches. Then talk with your child’s pediatrician or health care provider and ask about a referral to someone experienced in evaluating children.
Ways to help
- Write down what you’ve noticed: changes in sleep, school, friends or mood, and when they started.
- Tell your child why you’re going, in simple and calm words.
- Let older children and teens speak for themselves, and give them a chance to talk privately if they want to.
- Ask the provider what the next steps are and how you can help at home.
How to support someone
Gentle ways to encourage a loved one to talk to a doctor.
Family and friends often notice changes a person doesn’t see in themselves, the American Psychiatric Association says. Your gentle nudge can matter.
Things that can help
- Help them write a short list of what they want to say
- Offer a ride, or to sit in the waiting room
- Offer to come into the appointment, if they want that
- Pick a calm, private moment to raise it
- Say what you’ve noticed with care: “You seem really tired lately. I’m worried about you.”
When and where to get help
Who to contact now, and how to find care.
Book a visit with your primary care provider if low mood, worry, sleep problems or other changes keep causing distress or get in the way of daily life. You don’t need to wait until it’s “bad enough.”
Free, confidential support (U.S.)
- 988 Suicide & Crisis Lifeline: call or text 988, or chat at 988lifeline.org, 24/7
- Crisis Text Line: text HOME to 741741, 24/7
- FindTreatment.gov: search for mental health services near you
- SAMHSA National Helpline: 1-800-662-4357, free and confidential, 24/7, in English and Spanish
Outside the U.S.: Find A Helpline (findahelpline.com) lists free, confidential helplines in more than 175 countries.
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Sources
- National Institute of Mental Health (NIMH). Tips for Talking With a Health Care Provider About Your Mental Health
- National Institute of Mental Health (NIMH). Mental Illness (statistics, 2022 National Survey on Drug Use and Health)
- American Psychiatric Association (APA). What is Mental Illness?
- American Psychiatric Association (APA). Stigma, Prejudice and Discrimination Against People with Mental Illness
- U.S. Preventive Services Task Force (USPSTF) (2023). Depression and Suicide Risk in Adults: Screening (Recommendation, June 2023)
- U.S. Preventive Services Task Force (USPSTF) (2023). Anxiety Disorders in Adults: Screening (Recommendation, June 2023)
- Medicare.gov (U.S. Centers for Medicare & Medicaid Services). Depression screening
- National Institute of Mental Health (NIMH). What Is Telemental Health?
- National Institute of Mental Health (NIMH). Children and Mental Health: Is This Just a Stage?
- U.S. Code of Federal Regulations, via Legal Information Institute (Cornell Law School). 45 CFR § 92.201 – Meaningful access for individuals with limited English proficiency (Section 1557 of the Affordable Care Act)
- National Institute of Mental Health (NIMH). Help for Mental Illnesses
- 988 Suicide & Crisis Lifeline (SAMHSA). 988 Suicide & Crisis Lifeline
- Crisis Text Line. Crisis Text Line
- Substance Abuse and Mental Health Services Administration (SAMHSA). Crisis Text Line (Disaster Behavioral Health Information Series resource)
- Substance Abuse and Mental Health Services Administration (SAMHSA). SAMHSA’s National Helpline
- Centers for Disease Control and Prevention (CDC). Caring for Your Mental Health (mental health resources)
- ThroughLine (Find A Helpline). Find A Helpline
- International Association for Suicide Prevention (IASP). Crisis centres and helplines
This guide is for education and self-care. It is not a diagnosis or a substitute for professional care. Please talk to a counselor or clinical provider about your health. Reviewed October 2026.
